>Read a different tabloid. "Read a newspaper that pretends there is no crime problem and don't believe your lying eyes when you walk down the street!" is a gre

>Read a different tabloid. "Read a newspaper that pretends there is no crime problem and don't believe your lying eyes when you walk down the street!" is a great solution as long as you don't live in a crime-ridden city (in which case that only works until you catch a random bullet or get shanked on the subway).