5 ms·

It surprised me that it was a woman. Usually people are more lenient to them than man. I was discussing that, some time ago, with a female friend (I am a male)

It surprised me that it was a woman. Usually people are more lenient to them than man. I was discussing that, some time ago, with a female friend (I am a male) who also loves doing street photography. We talked about how difficult it is for a man to do street photography, specially around places with a lot of kids, as you will always receive strange looks or even threats. If you're a woman taking photos? Probably a mother or mother-to-be, if you're a man? Pedophile. I wonder if there are that many people exposing themselves to kids as the security lady said in the article. Seems like an excuse to justify the action, or something that happened once and they are overreacting to it...

wccrawford 4y ago
When I read the headline, there was no doubt in my mind that it was a man. I'm quite surprised, too. I guess the over-protectiveness has just continued advancing. Not a huge surprise.
trashtester 4y ago
I suspect there is an element of survivorship bias. If a man is treated like she was, it would not be news. Most (normal) men also know that they may be seen as a threat, and would move along quickly if asked to. (If they call security over a woman, they may call the police over a man.)
- belorn 4y ago
  I guess it similar for people of color. They know that they may be seen as a threat and thus they normally act accordingly. Otherwise people may call the police.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - trashtester 4y ago
    I agree, especially if the color is "black". Similarly, I suppose you will find that people with traits of low social class or people that are physically large/muscular, especially if they're not good-looking will experience this. So, a black guy on 190+cm, large and muscular with a hoodie + some gang-related tatoos and a lower-class behaviour may experience it more than a petite female white upper middle class lawyer in an expensive dress suit. No surprises here.
hdjjhhvvhga 4y ago
Times have changed. I have a male friend working as a teacher in elementary school. Things that used to be normal 20 years ago are a great taboo now. Younger kids long for human touch, but this is absolutely unthinkable and the teacher needs to get away to avoid any kind of touch. They prefer not to stay in the classroom with individual kids (and ask a female teacher to accompany them if necessary). On the other hand, maybe it's better to be safe than sorry.
- moistly 4y ago
  And this at a time when so many children are raised in a single-parent home and lack any sort of positive male role-model.
- yodsanklai 4y ago
  > They prefer not to stay in the classroom with individual kids Just wondering, is it the case for college professors in the US? should they be careful not to be alone in a room with a student or is that a myth?
  - throwawayboise 4y ago
    It is the case for any one-on-one interaction, including business meetings, boss/subordinate meetings, etc. It's considered unwise, at best, if not forbidden.
    - voakbasda 4y ago
      Absolutely unwise. Ask anyone who has been the victim of malicious prosecution after someone made false accusations against them. If it is one person’s word against the other, discrimination wins the day. Every time.
    - unethical_ban 4y ago
      This is absolutely not my experience in 12 years of fortune 100 office work.
- barry-cotter 4y ago
oneeyedpigeon 4y ago
Big surprise. I'm a man, living in the UK, and I would never stop to watch kids playing in a school like this if I was on my own. But I am pretty surprised they would treat a woman in this way. Is that bad of me? Is it bad that I'm slightly glad that they would treat women equally, in this way? I dunno, the whole thing seems ridiculous though.
- kayodelycaon 4y ago
  I really don’t like this attitude of men being anywhere around teenagers or children is creepy. I know a then 14-year-old guy from a game store where I’d played D&D with his mom for two years. I was 30~32 at the time. Some people I know thought it was creepy as hell I went with his mom to see a high-school play he was in. His acting wasn’t great but we all had fun. I don’t get it. I really don’t. The people I was with and quite a few of my friends didn’t understand that reaction either. Plenty of teenagers need a good father figure or mentor.
  - int_19h 4y ago
    There's not much to get: it's a witch hunt. That there are real witches out there in this case doesn't change the fundamental dynamics of it.
aidenn0 4y ago
I didn't notice that author was a woman until I read this comment. As a foster and adoptive parent, I have definitely gotten some comments when I play with those of my kids that look very different from me; I could feel the tension evaporate when one of them calls me "dad" and everyone realizes the relationship. Never had the police called on me either. I did have a 12 year old daughter get stopped by a concerned adult while bicycling through a nearby neighborhood ("where are you going" "where are your parents" &c.). That turned her off from bicycling ever since.
- tremon 4y ago
  That turned her off from bicycling ever since. That's... incredibly sad. I'm sorry to hear that.
- throwaway290 4y ago
  Fight fire with fire. Track that person down, write a complaint. You may well be watching her using some tech gadget, none of their business, they are clearly harassing your child. Why are you stopping my child and talking to her, are you a perv or procuring children for such, etc.
13of40 4y ago
A few years ago...maybe "several" now...I was having a rough day at work and decided to take an hour or two off and go for a walk. I ended up near our city's zoo, and I remembered that my company got discounted admission, so I decided to visit. So I got there, and basically every visitor (mid-day on a sunny weekday) was a mother pushing a pram. I had a wife and a kid and a house and a job, so it's not like I wasn't in the demographic range of people that would visit there, but just being the only "unaccompanied male" was enough to make me turn around and walk the other way.
mmwelt 4y ago
I wonder what the legal position is on this situation? Could this form of discrimination somehow be justified legally?

wccrawford 4y ago

When I read the headline, there was no doubt in my mind that it was a man. I'm quite surprised, too. I guess the over-protectiveness has just continued advancing. Not a huge surprise.

trashtester 4y ago

I suspect there is an element of survivorship bias. If a man is treated like she was, it would not be news. Most (normal) men also know that they may be seen as a threat, and would move along quickly if asked to. (If they call security over a woman, they may call the police over a man.)

belorn 4y ago
I guess it similar for people of color. They know that they may be seen as a threat and thus they normally act accordingly. Otherwise people may call the police.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- trashtester 4y ago
  I agree, especially if the color is "black". Similarly, I suppose you will find that people with traits of low social class or people that are physically large/muscular, especially if they're not good-looking will experience this. So, a black guy on 190+cm, large and muscular with a hoodie + some gang-related tatoos and a lower-class behaviour may experience it more than a petite female white upper middle class lawyer in an expensive dress suit. No surprises here.

hdjjhhvvhga 4y ago

Times have changed. I have a male friend working as a teacher in elementary school. Things that used to be normal 20 years ago are a great taboo now. Younger kids long for human touch, but this is absolutely unthinkable and the teacher needs to get away to avoid any kind of touch. They prefer not to stay in the classroom with individual kids (and ask a female teacher to accompany them if necessary). On the other hand, maybe it's better to be safe than sorry.

moistly 4y ago
And this at a time when so many children are raised in a single-parent home and lack any sort of positive male role-model.
yodsanklai 4y ago
> They prefer not to stay in the classroom with individual kids Just wondering, is it the case for college professors in the US? should they be careful not to be alone in a room with a student or is that a myth?
- throwawayboise 4y ago
  It is the case for any one-on-one interaction, including business meetings, boss/subordinate meetings, etc. It's considered unwise, at best, if not forbidden.
  - voakbasda 4y ago
    Absolutely unwise. Ask anyone who has been the victim of malicious prosecution after someone made false accusations against them. If it is one person’s word against the other, discrimination wins the day. Every time.
  - unethical_ban 4y ago
    This is absolutely not my experience in 12 years of fortune 100 office work.
barry-cotter 4y ago

oneeyedpigeon 4y ago

Big surprise. I'm a man, living in the UK, and I would never stop to watch kids playing in a school like this if I was on my own. But I am pretty surprised they would treat a woman in this way. Is that bad of me? Is it bad that I'm slightly glad that they would treat women equally, in this way? I dunno, the whole thing seems ridiculous though.

kayodelycaon 4y ago
I really don’t like this attitude of men being anywhere around teenagers or children is creepy. I know a then 14-year-old guy from a game store where I’d played D&D with his mom for two years. I was 30~32 at the time. Some people I know thought it was creepy as hell I went with his mom to see a high-school play he was in. His acting wasn’t great but we all had fun. I don’t get it. I really don’t. The people I was with and quite a few of my friends didn’t understand that reaction either. Plenty of teenagers need a good father figure or mentor.
- int_19h 4y ago
  There's not much to get: it's a witch hunt. That there are real witches out there in this case doesn't change the fundamental dynamics of it.

aidenn0 4y ago

I didn't notice that author was a woman until I read this comment. As a foster and adoptive parent, I have definitely gotten some comments when I play with those of my kids that look very different from me; I could feel the tension evaporate when one of them calls me "dad" and everyone realizes the relationship. Never had the police called on me either. I did have a 12 year old daughter get stopped by a concerned adult while bicycling through a nearby neighborhood ("where are you going" "where are your parents" &c.). That turned her off from bicycling ever since.

tremon 4y ago
That turned her off from bicycling ever since. That's... incredibly sad. I'm sorry to hear that.
throwaway290 4y ago
Fight fire with fire. Track that person down, write a complaint. You may well be watching her using some tech gadget, none of their business, they are clearly harassing your child. Why are you stopping my child and talking to her, are you a perv or procuring children for such, etc.

13of40 4y ago

A few years ago...maybe "several" now...I was having a rough day at work and decided to take an hour or two off and go for a walk. I ended up near our city's zoo, and I remembered that my company got discounted admission, so I decided to visit. So I got there, and basically every visitor (mid-day on a sunny weekday) was a mother pushing a pram. I had a wife and a kid and a house and a job, so it's not like I wasn't in the demographic range of people that would visit there, but just being the only "unaccompanied male" was enough to make me turn around and walk the other way.

mmwelt 4y ago

I wonder what the legal position is on this situation? Could this form of discrimination somehow be justified legally?