4 ms·

English-as-mother-tongue speaker here, currently living in a German-speaking country, also with two kids who have been raised with both English and German spoke

by aa-jv 4y ago

English-as-mother-tongue speaker here, currently living in a German-speaking country, also with two kids who have been raised with both English and German spoken in our household, giving them a huge edge at school with near-perfect English scores since day one .. My experience with the Germans not wanting to speak German with you while you stumble over everything, is simply that they want to exercise their own English, and its just not as fun for them to wait for your marble-mouthed nonsense to parse. ;) But its not, in my experience, due to any xenophobia or general prejudice - more of a fact that its a lot of fun to speak a non-native language with a native-speaker. Germans are after that "I can speak English well enough!" acknowledgement, which - unless you've really, really studied hard for it - you won't really get to experience, either, speaking German .. for a few years, I imagine. But, its really important to keep up your skills no matter what your friends and family do to dissuade you. I'm at the point, 15 years into life in a German-speaking country, where I can speak near-flawless German with strangers consistently, but any time I try with someone who is familiar with me, it turns into an embarrassing mess .. But I encourage you to keep trying, its really fun!

NanoCoaster 4y ago
> My experience with the Germans not wanting to speak German with you while you stumble over everything, is simply that they want to exercise their own English, and its just not as fun for them to wait for your marble-mouthed nonsense to parse. ;) As a German, my reason for switching to English quickly was always along the lines of "oh no, they're struggling to communicate with me! I feel bad. Let's make it easier for everyone and switch to English". This applies especially when talking to English native speakers, but, weirdly enough, also for others - I feel better when I also have to suffer by talking in a non-native language. Doesn't really make sense, I know :) I've talked to other Germans about this a few times and many of them agreed that this was their way of thinking in these situations. I get that this behavior can come across as condescending and I absolutely understand the frustration about it when trying to exercise one's German skills. So nowadays, when this happens (which is quite rare anyway), I try to just stick to German. I'm a bit puzzled why people would learn German out of all languages anyway, apart from living here obviously, so I'm always happy when someone does. Also, I obviously can't speak for the whole German population and sadly there's definitely some xenophobia to be found wherever you look.
- aa-jv 4y ago
  Yes, its pretty clear after a decade and a half of living in a German-speaking land, as a native English speaker, that the intention of a German-native-speaker switching to English is really to be more accommodating of the struggles of the other person - but for some reason, categorically it just doesn't come off that way. Its very frustrating at times too, because the switch mid-statement shuts down my attempt at communicating in German, and thus .. I don't ever really get better. What I suggest to all my German-speaking/English-preferring friends and colleagues, is to CORRECT the German, in a friendly way, and speak friendlier German while I'm "getting the marbles out" .. As for learning German - its a beautiful language and there is much literature that can be enjoyed in German, which loses its feels in English translations. I have a "German/English Shakespeare" volume, which has Shakespeare in German on one side of the page, and English on the other, and this has proven to me time and again that German can be just as beautiful, befuddling, frustrating and enlightening as English. I'm really glad I raised my kids to be German/English speaking too - having an intrinsic knowledge of both languages has helped them be better speakers of them both, too.
  - pessimizer 4y ago
    > What I suggest to all my German-speaking/English-preferring friends and colleagues, is to CORRECT the German, in a friendly way, and speak friendlier German while I'm "getting the marbles out" .. I've heard something different to this and I have to say that it helps in my language learning. You shouldn't correct someone who gets the language wrong, but accept anything that you understand as correct enough. If there is some possible confusion in the meaning, however, you should ask for clarification (e.g. "do you mean you're going to the movies now, or that you went to the movies yesterday?") The language learner will follow up with a different phrasing and/or with questions about grammar that will teach them more than a quickly forgotten correction.
diegoeche 4y ago
> > My experience with the Germans not wanting to speak German with you while you stumble over everything, is simply that they want to exercise their own English, and its just not as fun for them to wait for your marble-mouthed nonsense to parse. ;) I've seen that outside of Berlin. (Or from Germans from out of Berlin when they come and see all the "expats). Are you in Berlin?
- aa-jv 4y ago
  I'm not in Berlin (Vienna) but I can confirm that in the few places outside of the bigger cities where I've encountered this phenomenon, its very common to get criticized for poor German-language skills by the townspeople, who seem to think that ones German skills should be at least on par with Germans who can speak English. Old wounds, I guess.

by aa-jv 4y ago

NanoCoaster 4y ago

> My experience with the Germans not wanting to speak German with you while you stumble over everything, is simply that they want to exercise their own English, and its just not as fun for them to wait for your marble-mouthed nonsense to parse. ;) As a German, my reason for switching to English quickly was always along the lines of "oh no, they're struggling to communicate with me! I feel bad. Let's make it easier for everyone and switch to English". This applies especially when talking to English native speakers, but, weirdly enough, also for others - I feel better when I also have to suffer by talking in a non-native language. Doesn't really make sense, I know :) I've talked to other Germans about this a few times and many of them agreed that this was their way of thinking in these situations. I get that this behavior can come across as condescending and I absolutely understand the frustration about it when trying to exercise one's German skills. So nowadays, when this happens (which is quite rare anyway), I try to just stick to German. I'm a bit puzzled why people would learn German out of all languages anyway, apart from living here obviously, so I'm always happy when someone does. Also, I obviously can't speak for the whole German population and sadly there's definitely some xenophobia to be found wherever you look.

aa-jv 4y ago
Yes, its pretty clear after a decade and a half of living in a German-speaking land, as a native English speaker, that the intention of a German-native-speaker switching to English is really to be more accommodating of the struggles of the other person - but for some reason, categorically it just doesn't come off that way. Its very frustrating at times too, because the switch mid-statement shuts down my attempt at communicating in German, and thus .. I don't ever really get better. What I suggest to all my German-speaking/English-preferring friends and colleagues, is to CORRECT the German, in a friendly way, and speak friendlier German while I'm "getting the marbles out" .. As for learning German - its a beautiful language and there is much literature that can be enjoyed in German, which loses its feels in English translations. I have a "German/English Shakespeare" volume, which has Shakespeare in German on one side of the page, and English on the other, and this has proven to me time and again that German can be just as beautiful, befuddling, frustrating and enlightening as English. I'm really glad I raised my kids to be German/English speaking too - having an intrinsic knowledge of both languages has helped them be better speakers of them both, too.
- pessimizer 4y ago
  > What I suggest to all my German-speaking/English-preferring friends and colleagues, is to CORRECT the German, in a friendly way, and speak friendlier German while I'm "getting the marbles out" .. I've heard something different to this and I have to say that it helps in my language learning. You shouldn't correct someone who gets the language wrong, but accept anything that you understand as correct enough. If there is some possible confusion in the meaning, however, you should ask for clarification (e.g. "do you mean you're going to the movies now, or that you went to the movies yesterday?") The language learner will follow up with a different phrasing and/or with questions about grammar that will teach them more than a quickly forgotten correction.

diegoeche 4y ago

> > My experience with the Germans not wanting to speak German with you while you stumble over everything, is simply that they want to exercise their own English, and its just not as fun for them to wait for your marble-mouthed nonsense to parse. ;) I've seen that outside of Berlin. (Or from Germans from out of Berlin when they come and see all the "expats). Are you in Berlin?

aa-jv 4y ago
I'm not in Berlin (Vienna) but I can confirm that in the few places outside of the bigger cities where I've encountered this phenomenon, its very common to get criticized for poor German-language skills by the townspeople, who seem to think that ones German skills should be at least on par with Germans who can speak English. Old wounds, I guess.