> cynical or paranoid Language can change everything. A few years ago in a digital self-defence class someone picked me up on choices of words. Paranoia and

> cynical or paranoid Language can change everything. A few years ago in a digital self-defence class someone picked me up on choices of words. Paranoia and cynicism are pre-Snowden words from an era when the nature of online computers was unclear to most people. Since 2013 (that's almost a decade ago now) we've been in a world where it's taken for granted by anyone with an IQ of 2 or more digits, that digital devices and many services are hostile. Cynicism and paranoia are no longer strictly possible. I was grateful to the young woman who pointed out that adopting negative psychological language empowers the attacker and places the victim on a back-foot. Cynicism and paranoia are no longer accusations you need to hear, nor feelings you need to own. Since then I have tried to couch digital self-defence language more carefully in terms of self-respect, dignity, informed consent, and ultimately in terms of ethics and morality that reasonable and informed people expect. By "reasonable", we do not mean bullied and browbeaten into learned helplessness by threats of compulsion, total lack of real choice, subterfuge and deception.