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I like it but it needs more effort. For example, the Zapp/Java joke simply doesn't work. Zapp doesn't overcome enemies "with complexity", he spends his men in h

by the_af 5y ago

I like it but it needs more effort. For example, the Zapp/Java joke simply doesn't work. Zapp doesn't overcome enemies "with complexity", he spends his men in human wave attacks. He doesn't enjoy bureaucracy, he doesn't give a f*ck. He just doesn't understand things. Zapp wouldn't be able to program in Java (or in anything, he would delegate everything to Kif while harassing some secretary). Zapp is probably a Scrum Master (he didn't actually do the certification, he just sketched with pencils a fake certificate).

scrollaway 5y ago
I'm with you. Some of those are really inspired, but Zapp is not Java. If anything, Hermes is Java - HUGE fan of bureaucracy and design by committee. Zapp is HTML. Not a real programming language. Bloated. And somehow you keep finding it everywhere, even in places you really don't want to see him.
scotty79 5y ago
> he spends his men in human wave attacks That's a better pun, but it still sounds like Java. One team I worked with had >20 people and was building not that complex webapp. >70% of the team were Java programmers and they were always behind the schedule. At some point one of JS guys decided to write Java to help them catch up. Getting Kif thrown into the next wave of attack is so Zapp. > Zapp wouldn't be able to program in Java He is Java.
- the_af 5y ago
  > [Zapp] is Java Like I said, not a good joke. Nothing about Zapp seems Java-like.
  - scotty79 5y ago
    Like you said "he spends his men in human wave attacks" Java seemingly requires countless bodies thrown into the fight to achieve even the simplest of goals.
    - the_af 5y ago
      Really? I've worked most of my professional life with Java and that's never been the case. Teams were always fairly small, 3 to 5 people. The 20-people (!!!) team you mentioned in your anecdote sounds like it would have failed with any technology. A better characterization of Java is: reliable, battle-tested, bureaucratic, needlessly verbose, and used for many enterprisey (aka boring) projects. That doesn't match Zapp's personality: he's brash, self-promoting, ignorant, deluded about his own importance and accomplishments, and cruel to subordinates -- who do the actual work. So Salesforce is a far better match. Failing that, an Engineer Manager job would also suit Zapp. Hermes is a better match for Java, at least for bureaucracy and suitability for mind-boggingly boring tasks.
      - scotty79 5y ago
        Oh, but that team did not fail. They eventually succeeded through the great effort just like good Zapp's troops, they were. I think there's a very good reason that small startups rarely use Java but Enterprises with limitless resources to tackle simplest problems just love it. I wrote some small commercial stuff in Java and it was anything but small. But I'm not Java programmer and I never will be if I can help it. Let's agree to disagree.
jonwest 5y ago
Zapp is Salesforce. Not a programming language, but often used in places where a programming language would be better suited. Overconfident and underqualified.

by the_af 5y ago

scrollaway 5y ago

I'm with you. Some of those are really inspired, but Zapp is not Java. If anything, Hermes is Java - HUGE fan of bureaucracy and design by committee. Zapp is HTML. Not a real programming language. Bloated. And somehow you keep finding it everywhere, even in places you really don't want to see him.

scotty79 5y ago

> he spends his men in human wave attacks That's a better pun, but it still sounds like Java. One team I worked with had >20 people and was building not that complex webapp. >70% of the team were Java programmers and they were always behind the schedule. At some point one of JS guys decided to write Java to help them catch up. Getting Kif thrown into the next wave of attack is so Zapp. > Zapp wouldn't be able to program in Java He is Java.

the_af 5y ago
> [Zapp] is Java Like I said, not a good joke. Nothing about Zapp seems Java-like.
- scotty79 5y ago
  Like you said "he spends his men in human wave attacks" Java seemingly requires countless bodies thrown into the fight to achieve even the simplest of goals.
  - the_af 5y ago
    Really? I've worked most of my professional life with Java and that's never been the case. Teams were always fairly small, 3 to 5 people. The 20-people (!!!) team you mentioned in your anecdote sounds like it would have failed with any technology. A better characterization of Java is: reliable, battle-tested, bureaucratic, needlessly verbose, and used for many enterprisey (aka boring) projects. That doesn't match Zapp's personality: he's brash, self-promoting, ignorant, deluded about his own importance and accomplishments, and cruel to subordinates -- who do the actual work. So Salesforce is a far better match. Failing that, an Engineer Manager job would also suit Zapp. Hermes is a better match for Java, at least for bureaucracy and suitability for mind-boggingly boring tasks.
    - scotty79 5y ago
      Oh, but that team did not fail. They eventually succeeded through the great effort just like good Zapp's troops, they were. I think there's a very good reason that small startups rarely use Java but Enterprises with limitless resources to tackle simplest problems just love it. I wrote some small commercial stuff in Java and it was anything but small. But I'm not Java programmer and I never will be if I can help it. Let's agree to disagree.

jonwest 5y ago

Zapp is Salesforce. Not a programming language, but often used in places where a programming language would be better suited. Overconfident and underqualified.