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If Programming Languages Were Futurama Characters
- qwertox 5y agohttp://web.archive.org/web/20220510032130/https://www.netmeister.org/blog/futurama.html http://web.archive.org/web/20220510032130/https://www.netmei...
- BearOso 5y agoKif Kroger is actually BASIC. Four million lines of it!
- EdwardDiego 5y agoHaha, there's a HelloWorld factory, haha, Java, amirite?
- wincy 5y agoOkay so which programming language is the robot devil?
- binibus 5y agoZsh. Is evil but not as much as Bender.
- kstenerud 5y agoWouldn't that be Flexo? Not as well known as Bender, but just as capable. In fact, probably more capable according to those who know him, but it's so close that hardly anyone cares. Tends to get flattened when people try mixing his work with existing Bender work. The two just don't go well together.
- binibus 5y agoI like it. It matches so well.
- Jtsummers 5y agoPresumably Eiffel, given his penchant for contracts.
- tobylane 5y agoIf Java offered a trade of hands so I could play an instrument, it would be the best thing Java ever did to me. Nibbler is Lua? Small, powerful, can bite.
- kstenerud 5y agoNix. Supposedly simple, but nobody except his acolytes can understand him. Everything technically fits together contractually, but good luck with the fine print. Delights in the torment and frustration of others. The fact that he can always lay the blame on them as architects of their own doom is just icing on the hellish cake.
- kstenerud 5y agoFurther note: It helps to read this description in the Robot Devil's jovial voice. And add a few moments of delectable "mwahahaha" here and there...
- Natsu 5y agoMalboge, right?
- haxorito 5y agoI actually think the Robot devil is C, powerful, talented and dangerous. If anyone cares I would say The professor is assembly language.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- LAC-Tech 5y agoI really enjoyed this - kind of a throwback to the old internet :)
- kjander79 5y agoLisp is the Planet Express Ship... "Tubes!? You're older than you said!"
- thelastknowngod 5y agoCould terraform be Zap Brannigan? Overly confident but often trips over its own feet?
- ab-dm 5y agoIf Only Ruby was actually popular outside of our own circle, I might have an easier time at hiring ruby devs :(
- alkaloid 5y agoAs a Perl dev, I learned Ruby once, then was like, "why am I learning Ruby, I'll just use Perl." Then I went back to Perl. Sorry. =D
- antifa 5y agoI wish the problem with looking for Ruby jobs was that there was too many perl jobs.
- atkailash 5y ago
- capableweb 5y agoProtip (if youre a smaller shop): Hire developers because they are good programmers. Programming languages are easier than you think to learn. If they already know Python, Ruby is not that different. Most C-like languages are easy to pick up if you already know one of them. Train them on Ruby once hired :)
- t0suj4 5y agoI have tried Rust, unsuccessfully, to simply play around and to create some data generators. That extremely limited experience completely transformed the way I think about resource ownership and mutation. It made me a better programmer.
- ab-dm 5y agoYeah I tried that, but being a small shop, I just can't afford to match the salaries of the bigger companies, and after a year (of mostly training) they get poached by a company that can pay 20-30k more than my little bootstrapped startup can :(
- imgabe 5y agoRoberto is Brainfuck: insane, wants to stab you https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Roberto https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Roberto
- tetris11 5y agoWormstrom is R: old, powerful, pretends to be his own thing when he's actually only effective in a handful of scenarios. Uses others to accomplish his goals but takes their victories as his.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- bryanrasmussen 5y agoPhilip J. Fry is... Perl ??? WTF, obviously Fry is VBScript.
- Jtsummers 5y agoI'd have argued Lisp, given its metacircular interpreter and him being his own grandpa.
- bryanrasmussen 5y agomaybe he is running a scheme interpreter implemented in VBScript. Also - Kif Kroker is definitely Four million lines of BASIC!
- bryanrasmussen 5y agoto expand on this - Perl is still one of the best languages to do text manipulation, Fry is not the best at anything and furthermore he language thinking not so good, him?
- bryanrasmussen 5y agook I guess Fry is the best at not having both kinds of brain waves and thus being the only being in the universe capable of defeating those floating brains guys but that is the best by virtue of being the worst.
- cestith 5y agoI probably would have said Fry was Rexx or JCL, but I like where you went with it.
- astrange 5y agoWhich one is God? (He knows everything you’re going to do, unless you do something else, then he doesn’t know that. C with undefined behavior?)
- throwaway8486 5y ago"Zapp Brannagan is... Java" sooo true
- shantnutiwari 5y agoNice. I wrote a similar one some time ago, that I need to update for 2022 Your Favorite Programming Language Sucks https://new.pythonforengineers.com/blog/favorite-programming-language-sucks/ https://new.pythonforengineers.com/blog/favorite-programming...
- geoduck14 5y agoI loled at "LOL leftpad"!!!
- captainbland 5y agoActually I think Java and C# would be the two presidential candidates John Jackson and Jack Johnson. "I think Java's final classes go too far", "well I think C#'s sealed classes don't go too far enough!"
- irq-1 5y agoSVG is the Holophoner.Complicate structures that very few can use, but beautiful output.
- the_af 5y agoI like it but it needs more effort. For example, the Zapp/Java joke simply doesn't work. Zapp doesn't overcome enemies "with complexity", he spends his men in human wave attacks. He doesn't enjoy bureaucracy, he doesn't give a f*ck. He just doesn't understand things. Zapp wouldn't be able to program in Java (or in anything, he would delegate everything to Kif while harassing some secretary). Zapp is probably a Scrum Master (he didn't actually do the certification, he just sketched with pencils a fake certificate).
- scrollaway 5y agoI'm with you. Some of those are really inspired, but Zapp is not Java. If anything, Hermes is Java - HUGE fan of bureaucracy and design by committee. Zapp is HTML. Not a real programming language. Bloated. And somehow you keep finding it everywhere, even in places you really don't want to see him.
- scotty79 5y ago> he spends his men in human wave attacks That's a better pun, but it still sounds like Java. One team I worked with had >20 people and was building not that complex webapp. >70% of the team were Java programmers and they were always behind the schedule. At some point one of JS guys decided to write Java to help them catch up. Getting Kif thrown into the next wave of attack is so Zapp. > Zapp wouldn't be able to program in Java He is Java.
- thrill 5y agoHypnoToad is APL. Once you look you can never look away. You'll never understand but you know there's understanding just out of reach.
- atkailash 5y ago
- idk1 4y agoI'm Ruby and I ran the sample code: I ran `puts "@aq`b`,Ctg".split("").map(&:succ)*''` Which outputs `Abraca-Duh` and I can't for the life of me figure out why. Does that fact that I'm Ruby and I've come here to ask that really highlights how much I'm channeling Amy Wong doesn't it? I've got it now. .succ returns the successor to str. But why on earth would one ever run "@".succ to get 'A'? Seems like a useless function, but I expect I'll just it one day. Good to know.