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Can anyone actually say what “mindfulness” really means? I once met a mindfulness coach who was trying to sell me on his business where he comes onsite and coa

Can anyone actually say what “mindfulness” really means? I once met a mindfulness coach who was trying to sell me on his business where he comes onsite and coaches corporate clients on mindfulness. The pitch broke down when he couldn’t articulate to me what the hell was really meant by mindfulness.

7952 4y ago
The whole wellbeing thing being peddled in companies feels like such a scam. Like fad diets aimed at extracting money from vulnerable people.
denton-scratch 4y ago
It's a bunch of different practices. At it's heart it just means paying attention all the time. The outcome depends on the motivation; it could be real insight, or power over others, or greater calmness. There's no point in trying to teach mindfulness to people who just want a 5-minute de-stressing session. Mindfulness is work.
vinyl7 4y ago
For many many years I was stuck inside my head. I had erected "walls" to protect myself and keep others out. Being afraid of coming off as weird, being worried about saying the wrong thing, afraid of being rejected, afraid of being assertive. So I would hide inside my head, keep to myself, and when people tried to get close to me (as in trying to be a close friend) I would instinctively push them away, in a sense, to keep my distance. When in social situations I would try to find any excuse to leave as quickly as possible because all I was thinking about was being worried about being awkward or weird or rejected. At the same time, I became very distressed about being single and having very few friends. I finally realized why I lacked friends and relationships, it was because I pushing people away. I also realized that the reason for this was because I was stuck inside my head, over analyzing everything, over thinking everything, making up problems in my head, being anxious, worried, and fearful about the past and the future. So I found "mindfulness" as a way to escape my brain from the never ending loop of analyzing people and social situations, to stop trying to figure out people's hidden intentions, stop thinking about the past and the future. To live in the moment and let myself be me rather than hiding myself. To me, mindfulness just means recognizing when my brain is a run-away train of thoughts and to not let it consume me. It's about getting outside of my head and into real life. For me, it's the difference of being safe but miserable or taking risks and potentially reaping rewards (friendships, relationships, new opportunities, etc.) The best way I can describe is the stereotypical/incorrect description of being an introvert vs being an extrovert.
danrocks 4y ago
To me, it seems one more bullshit fad that nobody is going to talk about in 10 years.
- WaxedChewbacca 4y ago
zmgsabst 4y ago
“Mindfulness” has a few components: - self-awareness, ie aware of your thoughts and feelings - being present in the moment - emotional regulation I always use security guards as my example: you need to see what is actually there, not what you expect to be; you need to be aware of your own response, eg not panic or become angry; and you need to both be able to calm yourself and overcome your default not to act, as appropriate.
eveningtree 4y ago
Mindfulness is something that emerges as a side-effect from meditation. Not something that you actively aim for. I'm going to have a lot of trouble putting it into words, since this is something I got from culture, and not from specific words. Bear with me. Here is how it feels: the brain experiences stuff "objectively". For example: if something happens and you get angry, instead of fully being angry, you get to see that you are angry. And now you get the choice to be angry or not. Or sometimes you don't get a choice, but can clearly see it and realize that it's something you have to go through. There emerges a clear separation between your brain, your emotions and the core you. It's not something you do consciously, it's something that your brain does by itself all the time. Like fish noticing water. Things don't really change, but you get a perception to notice and see things. An analogy I like to use is: You are playing a 2d game. Your character exists in a 2d world. But your perspective is 3d and can clearly see what's happening. -------- P.S. Since you seem to be curious, keep in mind that meditation is serious stuff and needs to be given respect. Using meditation for just feeling good is like using a gun to dig a hole. Can you do it? yeah. But without gun discipline, you may end up shooting yourself in the foot. Meditation is a tool. It exists safely only within a larger ecosystem of other things. Prescribing meditation openly without the ecosystem is dangerous. Once mindfulness comes, the problems get more and more subtle.
WaxedChewbacca 4y ago

7952 4y ago

The whole wellbeing thing being peddled in companies feels like such a scam. Like fad diets aimed at extracting money from vulnerable people.

denton-scratch 4y ago

It's a bunch of different practices. At it's heart it just means paying attention all the time. The outcome depends on the motivation; it could be real insight, or power over others, or greater calmness. There's no point in trying to teach mindfulness to people who just want a 5-minute de-stressing session. Mindfulness is work.

vinyl7 4y ago

For many many years I was stuck inside my head. I had erected "walls" to protect myself and keep others out. Being afraid of coming off as weird, being worried about saying the wrong thing, afraid of being rejected, afraid of being assertive. So I would hide inside my head, keep to myself, and when people tried to get close to me (as in trying to be a close friend) I would instinctively push them away, in a sense, to keep my distance. When in social situations I would try to find any excuse to leave as quickly as possible because all I was thinking about was being worried about being awkward or weird or rejected. At the same time, I became very distressed about being single and having very few friends. I finally realized why I lacked friends and relationships, it was because I pushing people away. I also realized that the reason for this was because I was stuck inside my head, over analyzing everything, over thinking everything, making up problems in my head, being anxious, worried, and fearful about the past and the future. So I found "mindfulness" as a way to escape my brain from the never ending loop of analyzing people and social situations, to stop trying to figure out people's hidden intentions, stop thinking about the past and the future. To live in the moment and let myself be me rather than hiding myself. To me, mindfulness just means recognizing when my brain is a run-away train of thoughts and to not let it consume me. It's about getting outside of my head and into real life. For me, it's the difference of being safe but miserable or taking risks and potentially reaping rewards (friendships, relationships, new opportunities, etc.) The best way I can describe is the stereotypical/incorrect description of being an introvert vs being an extrovert.

danrocks 4y ago

To me, it seems one more bullshit fad that nobody is going to talk about in 10 years.

WaxedChewbacca 4y ago

zmgsabst 4y ago

“Mindfulness” has a few components: - self-awareness, ie aware of your thoughts and feelings - being present in the moment - emotional regulation I always use security guards as my example: you need to see what is actually there, not what you expect to be; you need to be aware of your own response, eg not panic or become angry; and you need to both be able to calm yourself and overcome your default not to act, as appropriate.

eveningtree 4y ago

Mindfulness is something that emerges as a side-effect from meditation. Not something that you actively aim for. I'm going to have a lot of trouble putting it into words, since this is something I got from culture, and not from specific words. Bear with me. Here is how it feels: the brain experiences stuff "objectively". For example: if something happens and you get angry, instead of fully being angry, you get to see that you are angry. And now you get the choice to be angry or not. Or sometimes you don't get a choice, but can clearly see it and realize that it's something you have to go through. There emerges a clear separation between your brain, your emotions and the core you. It's not something you do consciously, it's something that your brain does by itself all the time. Like fish noticing water. Things don't really change, but you get a perception to notice and see things. An analogy I like to use is: You are playing a 2d game. Your character exists in a 2d world. But your perspective is 3d and can clearly see what's happening. -------- P.S. Since you seem to be curious, keep in mind that meditation is serious stuff and needs to be given respect. Using meditation for just feeling good is like using a gun to dig a hole. Can you do it? yeah. But without gun discipline, you may end up shooting yourself in the foot. Meditation is a tool. It exists safely only within a larger ecosystem of other things. Prescribing meditation openly without the ecosystem is dangerous. Once mindfulness comes, the problems get more and more subtle.

WaxedChewbacca 4y ago