I've attempted it several times. Hell, I still have the stuff that can kill me painlessly... from what I understood, I still kinda doubt it and fear surviving i

I've attempted it several times. Hell, I still have the stuff that can kill me painlessly... from what I understood, I still kinda doubt it and fear surviving it and getting brain/organ damage. That's worse than dying! But I could never go through with it, survival instinct is a bitch and I'm basically a coward. I would still be happy if I got killed quickly somehow. Surviving an attempt would most likely make me feel even more like a loser. Note that I never did it for attention - I told no one, no one knew. They'd be as shocked as my parents when I told them I was heavily bullied throughout school.