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"Our system does work for some people. But it is frustrating and fails others. If anyone wants to build a better one, please do." I don't know how we can achie

"Our system does work for some people. But it is frustrating and fails others. If anyone wants to build a better one, please do." I don't know how we can achieve it, but we somehow need to get to a society which each individual cares for and engages with people in need, and not just wish them away to some system which is supposed to substitute for our own caring and engagement.

codingdave 5y ago
> supposed to substitute for our own caring and engagement. That is an unfair portrayal. Parents are not psychologists, not nurses or doctors, and have limits. We can give our absolute most to care for our children and still need more help.
- pmoriarty 5y ago
  I'm not suggesting that untrained people provide therapy, but simply engage with and help those in need in some way -- whether that be by volunteering in soup kitchens, schools, hospitals, shelters, senior centers, big brother / big sister programs, summer camps, scouts, tutoring, Kiwanis/Rotary clubs, Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, etc. There are so many ways to help and become more engaged with one's community and people in need. If everyone did more social service of this kind instead of focusing just on themselves and their friends and family, while (at best) paying others to care for people in their community, we'd be so much better off. Kids and adults see a broken society where they and the people around them are just not cared about, ignored, left to rot, or are even actively attacked/harmed. That alone is traumatizing and disheartening. There's so much pain in the world and it's tempting to disengage and withdraw. A more caring world would be a psychological boon to everyone.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
collegeburner 5y ago
This is not fair. Most parents really care about their children but just caring isn't always enough. They don't always know how to fix it. Teen years is when kids start becoming their own people, they do more without parents, keep secrets, and those are not problems, they need that to become adults. But it is not fair to tell parents both "give your kid space to grow" and qt the same time "you must know everything about your kid, if they are self harming and you do not know then you're a bad parent".
- pmoriarty 5y ago
  I wasn't suggesting that parents don't care enough about their kids (though obviously some don't, and even abuse their kids). I was suggesting more of a society-wide caring, which I describe in more detail in another post in this thread: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31304590 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31304590
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

codingdave 5y ago

> supposed to substitute for our own caring and engagement. That is an unfair portrayal. Parents are not psychologists, not nurses or doctors, and have limits. We can give our absolute most to care for our children and still need more help.

pmoriarty 5y ago
I'm not suggesting that untrained people provide therapy, but simply engage with and help those in need in some way -- whether that be by volunteering in soup kitchens, schools, hospitals, shelters, senior centers, big brother / big sister programs, summer camps, scouts, tutoring, Kiwanis/Rotary clubs, Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, etc. There are so many ways to help and become more engaged with one's community and people in need. If everyone did more social service of this kind instead of focusing just on themselves and their friends and family, while (at best) paying others to care for people in their community, we'd be so much better off. Kids and adults see a broken society where they and the people around them are just not cared about, ignored, left to rot, or are even actively attacked/harmed. That alone is traumatizing and disheartening. There's so much pain in the world and it's tempting to disengage and withdraw. A more caring world would be a psychological boon to everyone.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

collegeburner 5y ago

This is not fair. Most parents really care about their children but just caring isn't always enough. They don't always know how to fix it. Teen years is when kids start becoming their own people, they do more without parents, keep secrets, and those are not problems, they need that to become adults. But it is not fair to tell parents both "give your kid space to grow" and qt the same time "you must know everything about your kid, if they are self harming and you do not know then you're a bad parent".

pmoriarty 5y ago
I wasn't suggesting that parents don't care enough about their kids (though obviously some don't, and even abuse their kids). I was suggesting more of a society-wide caring, which I describe in more detail in another post in this thread: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31304590 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31304590
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]