4 ms·

Mate, if you haven’t already, go talk with a therapist. I’ve struggled with avoidance my entire adult life – avoiding awkwardness, pain, risk, “bad”emotions, di

Mate, if you haven’t already, go talk with a therapist. I’ve struggled with avoidance my entire adult life – avoiding awkwardness, pain, risk, “bad”emotions, difficult conversations, conflict – and talking with a professional has really helped me.

rchaud 4y ago
Much like making new friends past university, therapists are a crapshoot. Some simply aren't a good fit or have poor sofa-side manner or fail to develop a sense of trust. If the therapy is part of an employer funded benefit, you also only get a limited number of sessions, and only with the employer-approved provider.
- bluefirebrand 4y ago
  Also, your employer funded therapist will likely have a specific mandate to basically help you get back to work, meaning no longterm solutions or help, only bandaids.
  - chrisdave 4y ago
    Maybe I'm lucky, I work for $LARGE_CORP_WITH_GOOD_BENEFITS and Aetna covers a non-tiny number of independent mental health practices with a small copay per session. Are there many companies with therapists on the payroll? I can't imagine feeling comfortable in that setting.
  - mypalmike 4y ago
    Do you know of examples where this was the case? I've never heard of therapists having any such mandates.
  - kortilla 4y ago
    That’s not how that works. The employers don’t directly employ therapists.
- eckza 4y ago
  Plug for Lacanian psychotherapy. Lacanians are focused, disciplined, and smart. There aren't many of them, either. Dig around, read a little about Jacques Lacan; if it piques your interest, give it a shot.
  - spazmoth 4y ago
    Have you seen a Lacanian analyst yourself? If so—what are the sessions like?
  - westoncb 4y ago
    Interesting. Though I've got very little interest in Lacan's work itself, I could see this being a pretty good filter for finding smart/disciplined therapists who are able to address more... abstract concerns (then again, maybe it's better for some of us to be forced out of abstract territory for therapy).
mrmuagi 4y ago
Any tips on what type of therapist (psychologist, therapist, counsellor, etc.) and/or treatment you found effective? Sounds like talk therapy -- but did you go through other stuff as well?
- philosopher1234 4y ago
  I recommend psychoanalysis. It’s the only thing I tried that helped, and it helped a ton. AMA if you have questions.
- PKop 4y ago
  Lift weights, run, get more sunlight/vitamin D, and go on walks in nature.
- grae_QED 4y ago
  Talk to a licensed therapist with a PhD or PsyD that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There are masters level therapist, however most of them don't have as much training as people with PhD's or PsyD's (it can be hit or miss with masters level clinicians). But really it's about finding someone that you can connect with. CBT focuses on challenging behavior that goes against your goals and building an arsenal of cognitive tools to maintain behavior that helps you achieve your goals. It's what most people with these kinds of problems need.

rchaud 4y ago

Much like making new friends past university, therapists are a crapshoot. Some simply aren't a good fit or have poor sofa-side manner or fail to develop a sense of trust. If the therapy is part of an employer funded benefit, you also only get a limited number of sessions, and only with the employer-approved provider.

bluefirebrand 4y ago
Also, your employer funded therapist will likely have a specific mandate to basically help you get back to work, meaning no longterm solutions or help, only bandaids.
- chrisdave 4y ago
  Maybe I'm lucky, I work for $LARGE_CORP_WITH_GOOD_BENEFITS and Aetna covers a non-tiny number of independent mental health practices with a small copay per session. Are there many companies with therapists on the payroll? I can't imagine feeling comfortable in that setting.
- mypalmike 4y ago
  Do you know of examples where this was the case? I've never heard of therapists having any such mandates.
- kortilla 4y ago
  That’s not how that works. The employers don’t directly employ therapists.
eckza 4y ago
Plug for Lacanian psychotherapy. Lacanians are focused, disciplined, and smart. There aren't many of them, either. Dig around, read a little about Jacques Lacan; if it piques your interest, give it a shot.
- spazmoth 4y ago
  Have you seen a Lacanian analyst yourself? If so—what are the sessions like?
- westoncb 4y ago
  Interesting. Though I've got very little interest in Lacan's work itself, I could see this being a pretty good filter for finding smart/disciplined therapists who are able to address more... abstract concerns (then again, maybe it's better for some of us to be forced out of abstract territory for therapy).

mrmuagi 4y ago

Any tips on what type of therapist (psychologist, therapist, counsellor, etc.) and/or treatment you found effective? Sounds like talk therapy -- but did you go through other stuff as well?

philosopher1234 4y ago
I recommend psychoanalysis. It’s the only thing I tried that helped, and it helped a ton. AMA if you have questions.
PKop 4y ago
Lift weights, run, get more sunlight/vitamin D, and go on walks in nature.
grae_QED 4y ago
Talk to a licensed therapist with a PhD or PsyD that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There are masters level therapist, however most of them don't have as much training as people with PhD's or PsyD's (it can be hit or miss with masters level clinicians). But really it's about finding someone that you can connect with. CBT focuses on challenging behavior that goes against your goals and building an arsenal of cognitive tools to maintain behavior that helps you achieve your goals. It's what most people with these kinds of problems need.