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The only place I've gotten the regularity feeling of a third place was a really specific gym I used to both work and train at. Everyone knew who I was even if I

by ehnto 5y ago

The only place I've gotten the regularity feeling of a third place was a really specific gym I used to both work and train at. Everyone knew who I was even if I didn't train with them, because I also worked there, so when I trained there it was my third place as well and I was always having great conversations. I haven't had anything like it since, and I've been relatively proactive too. I have hobbies, go to meets, and go to the same coffee shops and restaurants so often that they know my order, but there is always this barrier between everyone, like no-one needs eachother because they have their phones. I ride the same bike park twice a week and go to the gym every couple of days, but I moved on to a 24/7 gym and everyone is buried in their phones, and I don't see the same people twice at the bike park. Me and the cleaner always have a great yarn though, I appreciate that.

jumpkick 5y ago
On of the best "third place" locations I've had was a gym as well. This was about 15 years ago, before iPhones and Airpods, etc. existed, or were as prevalent, so it was easy and common for gym regulars to strike up conversations and get to know each other. I don't go to the gym anymore, but a few years ago when I resumed for a bit, everyone was on their phone, or dead-eyed while listening to music or a podcast, etc, and not interested in talking to anyone.
- NaturalPhallacy 5y ago
  Boxing/mma gyms are good for this. Can't really keep headphones in if you get hit in the head!
Aromasin 5y ago
I always say to people that CrossFit is my church, and while I say it with mild sarcasm, internally it is true. Everyday I turn up, see the same people, build a community to the extent we do socials, help each other out with all manner of things, and honestly it gives me fulfilment more so than anything else I do.
- 331c8c71 5y ago
  I know next to nothing about crossfit and it definitely looks like religion to me. I'm not even sure where this impression comes from but it's probably first or second thing that comes into my mind when I hear "crossfit" (the other thing is that someone I vaguely know does it to keep in shape -- but we never discussed it in any detail).
  - ehnto 5y ago
    There is a level of passion and commitment to crossfit that other disciplines don't always have, and due to the way it's practiced it's really beneficial to have your own space for it so crosfit tends to happen at crossfit only gyms, at scheduled times amongst regular practitioners. To keep riffing on the religious theme, there was a fair bit of controversy around crossfit when it first arrived on the scene, to the point where even other fairly similar gym disciplines were pushing it out of their gyms. That kind of criticism tends to drive you back into your group (the same way door-knocking drives evangelists back to the warm embrace of the parish), and I almost never see crossfit happening in regular gyms, just crossfit gyms. As above that's partly practicality, but I think it's also fair to say it wasn't received well at first and that likely drove people to those specialized gyms instead of practicing it at their local. I do powerlifting/strength training and powerlifters had the same issue in mainstream gyms, and there are powerlifting specific gyms around. But that's gotten better over time with mainstream gyms having powerlifing/olympic lifting gear more often than not now.
  - Aromasin 5y ago
    Keep in mind I'm in the UK, so I think it functions very differently than in the states. Religion is already a prominent part of the culture there, whereas here I don't know a single person my age that has gone to church since they were a small child. We don't have the level of radical level of belief of commitment about much here. As such, the atmosphere is more of a pub, minus the drinking, but it fulfills my "3rd space" need outside of work and home. I've heard from people within the community that CF in the US was scarcely cultish in comparison, so take my previous comment through that lense.
- acwan93 5y ago

by ehnto 5y ago

jumpkick 5y ago

On of the best "third place" locations I've had was a gym as well. This was about 15 years ago, before iPhones and Airpods, etc. existed, or were as prevalent, so it was easy and common for gym regulars to strike up conversations and get to know each other. I don't go to the gym anymore, but a few years ago when I resumed for a bit, everyone was on their phone, or dead-eyed while listening to music or a podcast, etc, and not interested in talking to anyone.

NaturalPhallacy 5y ago
Boxing/mma gyms are good for this. Can't really keep headphones in if you get hit in the head!

Aromasin 5y ago

I always say to people that CrossFit is my church, and while I say it with mild sarcasm, internally it is true. Everyday I turn up, see the same people, build a community to the extent we do socials, help each other out with all manner of things, and honestly it gives me fulfilment more so than anything else I do.

331c8c71 5y ago
I know next to nothing about crossfit and it definitely looks like religion to me. I'm not even sure where this impression comes from but it's probably first or second thing that comes into my mind when I hear "crossfit" (the other thing is that someone I vaguely know does it to keep in shape -- but we never discussed it in any detail).
- ehnto 5y ago
  There is a level of passion and commitment to crossfit that other disciplines don't always have, and due to the way it's practiced it's really beneficial to have your own space for it so crosfit tends to happen at crossfit only gyms, at scheduled times amongst regular practitioners. To keep riffing on the religious theme, there was a fair bit of controversy around crossfit when it first arrived on the scene, to the point where even other fairly similar gym disciplines were pushing it out of their gyms. That kind of criticism tends to drive you back into your group (the same way door-knocking drives evangelists back to the warm embrace of the parish), and I almost never see crossfit happening in regular gyms, just crossfit gyms. As above that's partly practicality, but I think it's also fair to say it wasn't received well at first and that likely drove people to those specialized gyms instead of practicing it at their local. I do powerlifting/strength training and powerlifters had the same issue in mainstream gyms, and there are powerlifting specific gyms around. But that's gotten better over time with mainstream gyms having powerlifing/olympic lifting gear more often than not now.
- Aromasin 5y ago
  Keep in mind I'm in the UK, so I think it functions very differently than in the states. Religion is already a prominent part of the culture there, whereas here I don't know a single person my age that has gone to church since they were a small child. We don't have the level of radical level of belief of commitment about much here. As such, the atmosphere is more of a pub, minus the drinking, but it fulfills my "3rd space" need outside of work and home. I've heard from people within the community that CF in the US was scarcely cultish in comparison, so take my previous comment through that lense.
acwan93 5y ago