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As a married husband (almost 20 yrs) and father of five kids, allow me to share some wisdom. Spouse time is vital to a healthy, strong, vibrant, lasting relati

As a married husband (almost 20 yrs) and father of five kids, allow me to share some wisdom. Spouse time is vital to a healthy, strong, vibrant, lasting relationship. Reddit doesn't care about you like your spouse does. And kids grow up way too fast. Treasure every moment.

v-erne 4y ago
>> Spouse time is vital to a healthy, strong, vibrant, lasting relationship Hear! Hear! This cannot be overstated. >> And kids grow up way too fast. Treasure every moment. And this on the other hand ... works only if You somehow like children (and who does not like small psychopats with dictatorial aspirations). For the others (I believe most of people who lives in my housing estate can be counted) I observe that the moments they really treasure are those when their children are is safe distance from them taking care of themselves.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- TimWillebrands 4y ago
  Interestingly, not caring about your children will likely result in little dictators. You might not want to give them attention, they do want it, and they'll get it one way or another.
  - engineer_22 4y ago
    Yeah it seems like with my own children good behavior is proportional to attention. They don't ask for much, but they don't like feeling like they're in my way. If I treat them decently, they'll let me do the things I need to do, and they know I'll come back to finish up with them later.
b555 4y ago
could not agree more with this. social media exists out there, but spouse and kids are right in front of you each and every day. when done correctly, seeing the growth of your family and spending time with them can be extremely rewarding, even more than the dopamine produced by interacting with the social media
- bombcar 4y ago
  The danger is that the social media provides a moderate dopamine hit but at nearly no “risk” - whereas many other situations provide a higher hit but at a much larger risk: the kid may be cranky, your spouse might be having a bad day, etc. We tune our activities for the minimization of risk. Perhaps adding a random chance to ban you for browsing would help add some risk back in.
m463 4y ago
> And kids grow up way too fast. what seems like an instant, they are gone.
- strogonoff 4y ago
  I find time passing subjectively much faster when there are close long-term daily social connections (even remote), although maybe that’s just me getting older.
  - urthor 4y ago
    I find time goes extremely fast when I'm not doing deeply engage work that requires 100% of my brainpower. Want to slow time down? Maxwell's equations have you covered.
Sakos 4y ago
As somebody who can't for the life of me find a partner and hasn't been in a serious relationship for 5 years now, Reddit time is all I have left.

v-erne 4y ago

>> Spouse time is vital to a healthy, strong, vibrant, lasting relationship Hear! Hear! This cannot be overstated. >> And kids grow up way too fast. Treasure every moment. And this on the other hand ... works only if You somehow like children (and who does not like small psychopats with dictatorial aspirations). For the others (I believe most of people who lives in my housing estate can be counted) I observe that the moments they really treasure are those when their children are is safe distance from them taking care of themselves.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
TimWillebrands 4y ago
Interestingly, not caring about your children will likely result in little dictators. You might not want to give them attention, they do want it, and they'll get it one way or another.
- engineer_22 4y ago
  Yeah it seems like with my own children good behavior is proportional to attention. They don't ask for much, but they don't like feeling like they're in my way. If I treat them decently, they'll let me do the things I need to do, and they know I'll come back to finish up with them later.

b555 4y ago

could not agree more with this. social media exists out there, but spouse and kids are right in front of you each and every day. when done correctly, seeing the growth of your family and spending time with them can be extremely rewarding, even more than the dopamine produced by interacting with the social media

bombcar 4y ago
The danger is that the social media provides a moderate dopamine hit but at nearly no “risk” - whereas many other situations provide a higher hit but at a much larger risk: the kid may be cranky, your spouse might be having a bad day, etc. We tune our activities for the minimization of risk. Perhaps adding a random chance to ban you for browsing would help add some risk back in.

m463 4y ago

> And kids grow up way too fast. what seems like an instant, they are gone.

strogonoff 4y ago
I find time passing subjectively much faster when there are close long-term daily social connections (even remote), although maybe that’s just me getting older.
- urthor 4y ago
  I find time goes extremely fast when I'm not doing deeply engage work that requires 100% of my brainpower. Want to slow time down? Maxwell's equations have you covered.

Sakos 4y ago

As somebody who can't for the life of me find a partner and hasn't been in a serious relationship for 5 years now, Reddit time is all I have left.