I can echo this, and am of a similar age as the OP. Even things I feel excited about learning are chores now, simply because my expectations are grok it quickly

I can echo this, and am of a similar age as the OP. Even things I feel excited about learning are chores now, simply because my expectations are grok it quickly and be productive. The act of being bad at it, not understanding something, having to look things up, not having the full shape of everything in my head and so sometimes having to cargo cult it until some later date when it'll make sense, etc, are alien and exhausting now. It's hard to pour myself into something I'm "bad" at, when there are other things I know I'm "good" at.