3 ms·

I'm curious how to arrive at a point in life where one has enough friends to make this plausible. I hope Lincoln goes beyond the design and accomplishes living

by bckr 4y ago

I'm curious how to arrive at a point in life where one has enough friends to make this plausible. I hope Lincoln goes beyond the design and accomplishes living in a place like this, and writes about it. I daydream about intentional community like this.

teaearlgrey_hot 4y ago
Brian_K_White 4y ago
You say hi to your neighbors and decide to be friends with them actively, and without requiring them to be exactly like you and agree with you on all topics. I haven't done this myself in the appartment I've been renting for over 10 years. I used to in other places but for some reason not here. Residential neighborbood in NJ. Only a few weeks ago a retired neighbor across the street, somehow, had the idea that I would be a good person to ask to help get his wifes laptop working with dual external monitors. He was correct of course but how did he get that impression? I helped them and it turns out they are a lovely couple that our two housholds could be great friends with each other. We could have been friends for over 10 years, but I never approched them and untill last month they never approached me. I think in my case I simply don't partake in some of the ways most people get involved in each others lives. I don't have kids so there are all kinds of things around kids that I'm just not there. I'm not religious so I don't go to any kind of church. I don't like sports enough to actually spend any time doing it. Not on any teams or anything. I have a fair number of friends, and when we get together it's great, but they don't live next door and can't hang out. I only see them at occasional events, either a party or some event we're all going to. My partner is involved in community theater which exposes her to a lot of somewhat local people but still not our actual neighborhood. To become friends with your neighbors, you have to just do it. Even though I haven't where I am now, I have in the past. In my case since this is a street with standalone houses and not an appartment building, there are lots of opportunities to see a neighbor working on something on their yard or their car and just walk up and talk about that. I don't know if it would be easier or harder in an appartment building. And of course it doesn't always work. I just remembered way back when I first moved here I noticed one guy up the block has a couple nice antique cars he works on in his garage. I'm into cars and stopped to talk to him one day, and he let me, he wasn't rude but didn't really engage and was pretty much just waiting for me to leave so I left and never bothered him again. And one of my neighbors is a full-on nut job who gets into screaming matches with everyone and the cops are at his house a couple times a year. That one I actively keep away not just through negligence. Maybe the rest of his family knows he's crazy too and I could be friends with them. Probably wherever you are there is also a shall we say "full spectrum" so just don't let that fact of life discourage you from meeting whoever else will play.

by bckr 4y ago

teaearlgrey_hot 4y ago

Brian_K_White 4y ago

You say hi to your neighbors and decide to be friends with them actively, and without requiring them to be exactly like you and agree with you on all topics. I haven't done this myself in the appartment I've been renting for over 10 years. I used to in other places but for some reason not here. Residential neighborbood in NJ. Only a few weeks ago a retired neighbor across the street, somehow, had the idea that I would be a good person to ask to help get his wifes laptop working with dual external monitors. He was correct of course but how did he get that impression? I helped them and it turns out they are a lovely couple that our two housholds could be great friends with each other. We could have been friends for over 10 years, but I never approched them and untill last month they never approached me. I think in my case I simply don't partake in some of the ways most people get involved in each others lives. I don't have kids so there are all kinds of things around kids that I'm just not there. I'm not religious so I don't go to any kind of church. I don't like sports enough to actually spend any time doing it. Not on any teams or anything. I have a fair number of friends, and when we get together it's great, but they don't live next door and can't hang out. I only see them at occasional events, either a party or some event we're all going to. My partner is involved in community theater which exposes her to a lot of somewhat local people but still not our actual neighborhood. To become friends with your neighbors, you have to just do it. Even though I haven't where I am now, I have in the past. In my case since this is a street with standalone houses and not an appartment building, there are lots of opportunities to see a neighbor working on something on their yard or their car and just walk up and talk about that. I don't know if it would be easier or harder in an appartment building. And of course it doesn't always work. I just remembered way back when I first moved here I noticed one guy up the block has a couple nice antique cars he works on in his garage. I'm into cars and stopped to talk to him one day, and he let me, he wasn't rude but didn't really engage and was pretty much just waiting for me to leave so I left and never bothered him again. And one of my neighbors is a full-on nut job who gets into screaming matches with everyone and the cops are at his house a couple times a year. That one I actively keep away not just through negligence. Maybe the rest of his family knows he's crazy too and I could be friends with them. Probably wherever you are there is also a shall we say "full spectrum" so just don't let that fact of life discourage you from meeting whoever else will play.