Everyone can be sad, but that's not depression. Similarly, everyone can be forgetful or distracted, but that's not ADHD. Your "don't beat yourself up" is just

Everyone can be sad, but that's not depression. Similarly, everyone can be forgetful or distracted, but that's not ADHD. Your "don't beat yourself up" is just as unhelpful as telling depressed people to "cheer up". ADHD is a neurological disorder physically affecting the brain. It causes executive dysfunction that people can't think themselves out of.