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If you cannot give an ultimatum then you can always be pushed around.

• RC_ITR 5y ago
  Unless you stop making comments like that, I will never upvote a comment you write ever again. ^that is certainly more 'toxic' than: I disagree with your point. I think disagreements and negotiation with an employer are fine (to your point, one can even use the threat of quitting as part of said negotiation), but ultimatums just serve as an opportunity for the giver to imply that they have more power than the receiver, which is 'toxic' behavior
• BeetleB 5y ago
  > If you cannot give an ultimatum then you can always be pushed around. No finer example of false dichotomy than this. Hers is a textbook example of how not to negotiate. By textbook, I mean literally every textbook on negotiations that I've read. Ultimatums are a tool of last resort, and they all caution their high failure rate. It also is typically a signal of a weak person.
  • boppo1 5y ago
    >literally every textbook on negotiations Aside: can you recommend the best ones? Getting to Yes is all I've read, but it seems a little 'fluffy'. I want something more rigorous, perhaps with game theory and models.
    • BeetleB 5y ago
      > I want something more rigorous, perhaps with game theory and models. I haven't read any of those. The thing is, those are great for longer term negotiations, but not for short term day to day ones - you don't have the luxury of evaluating things from a game theory/model perspective. Even Getting To Yes is a bit poor in that regard.
      • boppo1 5y ago
        So which ones/resources do you like for day-to-day negotiations?