3 ms·

So you are saying monogamy exists primarily because of jealousy and fear? I wonder who would enter a relationship build on these foundations? Can you explain

So you are saying monogamy exists primarily because of jealousy and fear? I wonder who would enter a relationship build on these foundations? Can you explain why you think "loosing your partner" is bound to happen when they have sex with other people? What about them falling in love with a co-worker (no sex required), dying from a car accident one day etc.? How do you assume these things are less likely than when sex enters the picture? Your emphasis on sex and what meaning it carries in relationships (particularly successful ones) seems to be be completely disproportionate to reality. People in open relationships tend to give more assurance to each other. Jealousy always exists. I can be jealous because my partner goes to her "girls night" and I don't get to spend time with her. Why would I be more or less jealous than if she had a date that night that involved sex? Once you think about this for a bit you realize that the choice/reasons for jealousy are mostly arbitrary/cultural and can be overcome. Like any bad habit. As for access to sex: there are options for men to balance the sheet. Just take up some sort of social dancing; tango, swing, salsa etc. Or sport. Climbing gyms are playgrounds for singles. And these options also open the door for "having sex with a stranger/recent aquaintance tonight". If that is so important to you.

mikevm 4y ago
> So you are saying monogamy exists primarily because of jealousy and fear? Monogamy exists because of a strong bond between two people. Sex is part of that bond. If you "love" another person, then obviously you would fear of losing them, and so would they. A bit of jealousy is healthy in a relationship, and there should be certain boundaries set (so called "red lines"). > Can you explain why you think "loosing your partner" is bound to happen when they have sex with other people? The fact that I have to explain this is already outrageous. > Jealousy always exists. I can be jealous because my partner goes to her "girls night" and I don't get to spend time with her. There's jealousy and there's her actually fcking a stranger. My gf should know that going for a "girl's night out" to some night club is not OK, just as it would not be OK for me to do the same thing. I have personally hooked up girls who were on trips abroad while they had a bf waiting at home... if your gf insists on going on such a trip, she's for the streets. > Once you think about this for a bit you realize that the choice/reasons for jealousy are mostly arbitrary/cultural and can be overcome. Like any bad habit. You can't just erase culture like that. Culture is not born out of thin air, it is partly based on our psychology. Biology -> Psychology -> Sociology. If you don't mind other men fcking your gf, then you are clearly in the minority of men, and that's OK, there's a minority for everything. But don't go around claiming that mate guarding is just purely cultural (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_guarding_in_humans https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_guarding_in_humans). > As for access to sex: there are options for men to balance the sheet. Just take up some sort of social dancing; tango, swing, salsa etc. Or sport. Climbing gyms are playgrounds for singles. It's not even close. Believe you me. Maybe it is where you live, but where I live the competition is so fierce that these places are just sausage fests.

mikevm 4y ago

> So you are saying monogamy exists primarily because of jealousy and fear? Monogamy exists because of a strong bond between two people. Sex is part of that bond. If you "love" another person, then obviously you would fear of losing them, and so would they. A bit of jealousy is healthy in a relationship, and there should be certain boundaries set (so called "red lines"). > Can you explain why you think "loosing your partner" is bound to happen when they have sex with other people? The fact that I have to explain this is already outrageous. > Jealousy always exists. I can be jealous because my partner goes to her "girls night" and I don't get to spend time with her. There's jealousy and there's her actually fcking a stranger. My gf should know that going for a "girl's night out" to some night club is not OK, just as it would not be OK for me to do the same thing. I have personally hooked up girls who were on trips abroad while they had a bf waiting at home... if your gf insists on going on such a trip, she's for the streets. > Once you think about this for a bit you realize that the choice/reasons for jealousy are mostly arbitrary/cultural and can be overcome. Like any bad habit. You can't just erase culture like that. Culture is not born out of thin air, it is partly based on our psychology. Biology -> Psychology -> Sociology. If you don't mind other men fcking your gf, then you are clearly in the minority of men, and that's OK, there's a minority for everything. But don't go around claiming that mate guarding is just purely cultural (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_guarding_in_humans https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_guarding_in_humans). > As for access to sex: there are options for men to balance the sheet. Just take up some sort of social dancing; tango, swing, salsa etc. Or sport. Climbing gyms are playgrounds for singles. It's not even close. Believe you me. Maybe it is where you live, but where I live the competition is so fierce that these places are just sausage fests.