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TLDR; <sarcasm> Extrapolating both your points you should thus only have one partner for life. And never leave the house (just use delivery apps/wear an ABC su
by virtualritz 4y ago
TLDR; <sarcasm>
Extrapolating both your points you should thus only have one partner for life. And never leave the house (just use delivery apps/wear an ABC suit when opening the door of your house to receive deliveries).
</sarcasm>
The first objection you listed contains all the reasons to use protection. In general.
I live in Berlin. A city where open/poly relationships are perfectly normal and common.
The bday party I went to last Saturday spanned an age group of 20-50. Mostly hetero people. Of the ten people (give or take one, I just counted in my head) I spoke to, four were in open relationships
This came up because my partner was there too and we introduced our significant other to other people as "this is my primary partner, ...".
You use protection, you regularly get tested for STDs (free in Germany with public health insurance).
I never caught anything in 20 years of this lifestyle nor do I know of any cases in my circle of poly/open relationship friends.
The second objection sums up pretty nicely why you should run for your life from what you call "traditional" relationship models/their assumed requirements.
My partner, who's an anthropologist, mentioned that genetic evidence for monogamy only exists for the last 10k years. And it's spotty.
People who believe this is normal or "traditional" (a term that requires context to carry any meaning) just need to brush up on the facts on this topic.
Also one may argue that what we call "monogamy" is (and always was) a lie.
Just look at statistics of cheating and divorce rates when economic/social pressure is removed.
Monogamy is as "natural" as being Christian or Muslim is "natural" when you are born in a country where this is the resp. prevalent religion.
- durnygbur 4y agoI had lived in Berlin for over 7 years and the only rare sex I had was with the girlfriend which I had brought there with me. For me there was no perspective of any sexual relationship with even remotely attractive woman. Dating apps hadn't resulted even with a single real life meeting. So I guess your example is anegdotal as is mine.
- virtualritz 4y agoI don't quite follow. Were you in a monogamous relationship for seven years? Then this is expected/a choice you made. Berlin as a background doesn't matter. If not, how many years were you single in Berlin? Why was there no perspective? What exactly did you try?
- xyzzy4747 4y agoBerliners are a weird group culturally. This is the same bunch of people that went on an anti-Semitic and racist bender and massacred millions of people across Europe. I don’t think they are a good example of how life should be lived. Weird/crazy people being weird. Everything is acceptable to Berliners.
- virtualritz 4y agoI can't find that funny. I have Jewish ancestry and never met my grandfather because of those criminals. I assume you are joking because comparing Berlin 2022 with Berlin during the third reich can only either be a joke or an absence of basic understanding of European history between now and then so flabbergasting that it borders on imbecility.
- xyzzy4747 4y agoThe criminals which had widespread support across Berlin and Germany. It was also only a couple generations ago. I’m also of Jewish heritage and multiple members of my extended family were wiped out. Like I said, Germans and Berliners particularly seem very tolerant of all sorts of extremist ideas. I count “open relationships” as one of them. It’s like who cares about why things are traditionally the way they are, let’s throw out the old ideas and try new crazy ones. Whether it’s reinventing relationships or sexuality or murdering millions of people. Anything goes.
- virtualritz 4y agoWell, as far as "old" goes there is very hard evidence that monogamy is rather the "new" idea. Not the other way around.
- xyzzy4747 4y agoIn the distant past, most likely societally important or powerful men had multiple wives. This is different than open relationships.