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Terrible agony: Wait for when you have kids.

by mrfinn 4y ago

ge96 4y ago
I wonder about this. It's a crazy commitment/years to deal with. I just look back to my own childhood/what my parents dealt with. On the other hand part of me feels sad thinking I will be the "last me". Maybe get genome sequenced/publish books of my face and put it sealed in a landfill somewhere for preservation. Actually rocks last a long time so probably a statue made with a rock.
- chromanoid 4y ago
  It feels like having your heart outside of your body and it's running around recklessly. Having children changed my outlook on the future quite a bit. First, I feel much more repsonsible and interested in the ecological future, because I intensely love people who will have to deal with the consequences in the future. Second, I hope I will be able to have a natural look into the problems of future generations, when I am old - there is a "strong bond into the future" for me. Third, while I don't feel it's a "future me" that I talk into sleep every evening, it feels like my human legacy. Considering my current reality, my children are probably the biggest impact I can have on the future. BTW I guess all this is true regardless of genetic bonds.
  - the_doctah 4y ago
    And in an ironic twist, the more people we bring into this world out of our own ego, the worse off it becomes.
    - chromanoid 4y ago
      As far as I know, it's less about how many and more about how they live. There is this myth of overpopulation (afaik this is well documented), in reality it's the egoism of the few rich countries who run the world down. And here I hope my children will participate in changing things.
- jdrc 4y ago
  Just leave some hair somewhere... In the future, kids will clone us and keep us for pets in their garden
spicyusername 4y ago
Kids are very likely the most rewarding and enjoyable thing you can possibly do in your life. You just need to have a solid partnership with your significant other before having them. Many of the points in the article are exactly the kinds of things you want to cultivate with your partner (e.g. self-awareness, good communication, etc) before having kids. If you have a good relationship with your partner, having kids is very manageable. Our generation is too cynical on kids and it's to their own detriment.
- mrfinn 4y ago
  Oh no, I'm not blaming kids at all. I'm blaming the biological need of sharing them with a completely independent adult that I thought was a solid partnership and now often decides to use them, in ways I never dared to imagine, to achieve the desired goals.

Terrible agony: Wait for when you have kids.

by mrfinn 4y ago

Terrible agony: Wait for when you have kids.

ge96 4y ago

I wonder about this. It's a crazy commitment/years to deal with. I just look back to my own childhood/what my parents dealt with. On the other hand part of me feels sad thinking I will be the "last me". Maybe get genome sequenced/publish books of my face and put it sealed in a landfill somewhere for preservation. Actually rocks last a long time so probably a statue made with a rock.

chromanoid 4y ago
It feels like having your heart outside of your body and it's running around recklessly. Having children changed my outlook on the future quite a bit. First, I feel much more repsonsible and interested in the ecological future, because I intensely love people who will have to deal with the consequences in the future. Second, I hope I will be able to have a natural look into the problems of future generations, when I am old - there is a "strong bond into the future" for me. Third, while I don't feel it's a "future me" that I talk into sleep every evening, it feels like my human legacy. Considering my current reality, my children are probably the biggest impact I can have on the future. BTW I guess all this is true regardless of genetic bonds.
- the_doctah 4y ago
  And in an ironic twist, the more people we bring into this world out of our own ego, the worse off it becomes.
  - chromanoid 4y ago
    As far as I know, it's less about how many and more about how they live. There is this myth of overpopulation (afaik this is well documented), in reality it's the egoism of the few rich countries who run the world down. And here I hope my children will participate in changing things.
jdrc 4y ago
Just leave some hair somewhere... In the future, kids will clone us and keep us for pets in their garden

spicyusername 4y ago

Kids are very likely the most rewarding and enjoyable thing you can possibly do in your life. You just need to have a solid partnership with your significant other before having them. Many of the points in the article are exactly the kinds of things you want to cultivate with your partner (e.g. self-awareness, good communication, etc) before having kids. If you have a good relationship with your partner, having kids is very manageable. Our generation is too cynical on kids and it's to their own detriment.

mrfinn 4y ago
Oh no, I'm not blaming kids at all. I'm blaming the biological need of sharing them with a completely independent adult that I thought was a solid partnership and now often decides to use them, in ways I never dared to imagine, to achieve the desired goals.