Background: I am a software engineer and engineering manager born in Russia. I am 46, so my reports are usually 10-20 years younger. To keep their initiative an

Background: I am a software engineer and engineering manager born in Russia. I am 46, so my reports are usually 10-20 years younger. To keep their initiative and creativity high I am keeping my tone a tad softer, for my age and authority often switch people to "yes, boss" mode. I am on a new job and out of Russia now, so most of communication is in English. My manager pointed out to me, that my softness may sometimes be interpreted as a passive aggression. Construction like "let's think this through again together" means proposing help in Russian, but can be perceived as " you didn't think it through by yourself, so I will spend my time to show you how it should be done properly". The problem deepens when we use same words with Americans, Brits and non-native speakers. Non-natives take words at face value most of the time, so it is easiest part. Americans has hundreds of nuance because they speak the language all their life and their cultural background chips in all the time. Brits has passive aggression built in their culture, thus "English humor" and branded sarcasm. There are two easy solutions for the problem. First - more face time even in remote-first team. People just getting to know each other and interpolate personal traits to written communication. Second - be more specific, clearly communicate intentions and speak as myself: "I feel that there can be better solution, so let's combine our expertise and brainstorm the problem once again".