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On the contrary I feel like that's pretty close to what my PO and PMs do all day. I used to work at a former Nokia company and my PO was Finnish. He would get

On the contrary I feel like that's pretty close to what my PO and PMs do all day. I used to work at a former Nokia company and my PO was Finnish. He would get people upset all the time by simply being too direct, especially with American colleagues.

gavinray 4y ago
Maybe I'm the odd the one then. I get mildly upset when people send me messages like this, because I know that wasn't what was in their head and that's not what they wanted to tell me. It feels really... I don't know, like you can't even bother to speak to me like we're human beings. I'd rather someone just talk to me like a normal person than use this corporate buzzword speak. But I was also raised in a family where you'd be told to "stop being an idiot" and then an explanation of why what you're doing was stupid. My mum wasn't one to mince words.
- ModernMech 4y ago
  The suggestions here seem like they're taking a sentiment with negative framing and just recasting it in a positive light. A lot of the corrected phrases assign blame, are hostile, overly confrontational, flippant, accusatory, curt, and impolite. Are you saying this kind of communication is how you think normal humans should speak with one another? What kind of environment do you think is created when everyone speaks that way to one another? Is that a place you'd like to work?
  - legalcorrection 4y ago
    In a high-trust environment, candor is not perceived as hostile. When you encourage people to interpret candor as hostility, you make everyone constantly afraid of offending others. It's hard to build trust and rapport with your coworkers in that environment.
    - ModernMech 4y ago
      I don't think calling someone an idiot, for example, is candor. I have plenty of trust and rapport with my coworkers, and I can't imagine them saying anything of the sort on this list to me. That's actually how we've built the trust we enjoy, by not engaging in the kind of language exhibited in TFA.
      - gavinray 4y ago
        It might be a cultural thing. If you can casually tell someone they're acting like an idiot, it's (to me) a sign that you have a level of trust with that person and the ability to empathize/communicate with each other. If someone comes to you in private and says, "Look man, you're really fucking up.", it hits different than "You might reconsider some of your recent behaviors." It shows that you are emotionally invested enough to use empathic language, rather than make blasé/meek innuendos to avoid any chance of offending them. The point is "You need to hear this" and not "I want to avoid offending you", which feels more productive to me.

gavinray 4y ago

Maybe I'm the odd the one then. I get mildly upset when people send me messages like this, because I know that wasn't what was in their head and that's not what they wanted to tell me. It feels really... I don't know, like you can't even bother to speak to me like we're human beings. I'd rather someone just talk to me like a normal person than use this corporate buzzword speak. But I was also raised in a family where you'd be told to "stop being an idiot" and then an explanation of why what you're doing was stupid. My mum wasn't one to mince words.

ModernMech 4y ago
The suggestions here seem like they're taking a sentiment with negative framing and just recasting it in a positive light. A lot of the corrected phrases assign blame, are hostile, overly confrontational, flippant, accusatory, curt, and impolite. Are you saying this kind of communication is how you think normal humans should speak with one another? What kind of environment do you think is created when everyone speaks that way to one another? Is that a place you'd like to work?
- legalcorrection 4y ago
  In a high-trust environment, candor is not perceived as hostile. When you encourage people to interpret candor as hostility, you make everyone constantly afraid of offending others. It's hard to build trust and rapport with your coworkers in that environment.
  - ModernMech 4y ago
    I don't think calling someone an idiot, for example, is candor. I have plenty of trust and rapport with my coworkers, and I can't imagine them saying anything of the sort on this list to me. That's actually how we've built the trust we enjoy, by not engaging in the kind of language exhibited in TFA.
    - gavinray 4y ago
      It might be a cultural thing. If you can casually tell someone they're acting like an idiot, it's (to me) a sign that you have a level of trust with that person and the ability to empathize/communicate with each other. If someone comes to you in private and says, "Look man, you're really fucking up.", it hits different than "You might reconsider some of your recent behaviors." It shows that you are emotionally invested enough to use empathic language, rather than make blasé/meek innuendos to avoid any chance of offending them. The point is "You need to hear this" and not "I want to avoid offending you", which feels more productive to me.