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This reads like robot-ey enterprise speak. No human being speaks to someone else like this in a normal situation. Just say what you mean and stop dancing aroun

This reads like robot-ey enterprise speak. No human being speaks to someone else like this in a normal situation. Just say what you mean and stop dancing around silly social games like this.

hocuspocus 5y ago
On the contrary I feel like that's pretty close to what my PO and PMs do all day. I used to work at a former Nokia company and my PO was Finnish. He would get people upset all the time by simply being too direct, especially with American colleagues.
- gavinray 5y ago
  Maybe I'm the odd the one then. I get mildly upset when people send me messages like this, because I know that wasn't what was in their head and that's not what they wanted to tell me. It feels really... I don't know, like you can't even bother to speak to me like we're human beings. I'd rather someone just talk to me like a normal person than use this corporate buzzword speak. But I was also raised in a family where you'd be told to "stop being an idiot" and then an explanation of why what you're doing was stupid. My mum wasn't one to mince words.
  - ModernMech 5y ago
    The suggestions here seem like they're taking a sentiment with negative framing and just recasting it in a positive light. A lot of the corrected phrases assign blame, are hostile, overly confrontational, flippant, accusatory, curt, and impolite. Are you saying this kind of communication is how you think normal humans should speak with one another? What kind of environment do you think is created when everyone speaks that way to one another? Is that a place you'd like to work?
    - legalcorrection 5y ago
      In a high-trust environment, candor is not perceived as hostile. When you encourage people to interpret candor as hostility, you make everyone constantly afraid of offending others. It's hard to build trust and rapport with your coworkers in that environment.
      - ModernMech 5y ago
        I don't think calling someone an idiot, for example, is candor. I have plenty of trust and rapport with my coworkers, and I can't imagine them saying anything of the sort on this list to me. That's actually how we've built the trust we enjoy, by not engaging in the kind of language exhibited in TFA.
        gavinray 5y ago
        It might be a cultural thing. If you can casually tell someone they're acting like an idiot, it's (to me) a sign that you have a level of trust with that person and the ability to empathize/communicate with each other. If someone comes to you in private and says, "Look man, you're really fucking up.", it hits different than "You might reconsider some of your recent behaviors." It shows that you are emotionally invested enough to use empathic language, rather than make blasé/meek innuendos to avoid any chance of offending them. The point is "You need to hear this" and not "I want to avoid offending you", which feels more productive to me.
QuarterReptile 5y ago
I found myself laughing for having used a majority of these phrases in meetings or emails. To each his own, I guess. The initial phrase is what you use in verbal communication, if you have a close working relationship. The 'professional' version goes in the email, which you assume is publicly distributed.
DennisP 5y ago
People do in fact speak this way in corporate situations. I once sat in a meeting of reps from about a dozen big companies in the agchem industry. They were proposing some kind of cooperative data thing. One guy spent five minutes spouting exactly this sort of enterprise speak, and it all could have been boiled down "what's in it for us?"
- mattcwilson 5y ago
  I wonder if the people speaking this way in corporate settings just don’t know how to do better? A good deal of corporate culture is people just following the patterns they see around them to conform. A good deal of culture change is just proudly, kindly, and confidently demonstrating how to do better - and having epic patience to wait for people to take notice and start following you (which might never happen.)
marginalia_nu 5y ago
Like it or not, this is what a lot of enterprise communication sounds like. Half the reason for mastering it is to avoid coming off as a huge back of dicks by inadvertently sending the wrong message through some polite-seeming offer to help or whatever.
rytis 5y ago
you'd be surprised... I've had "it has come to my attention that you ran 'rm /var/log/some_random_log' when you should have enquired regarding the importance of said 'some_random_log'" instead of "wtf did you just remove some_random_log, you nut" in the past.
junon 5y ago
I only use this tone when I'm trying to convey that someone is pissing me off. Usually works.

This reads like robot-ey enterprise speak. No human being speaks to someone else like this in a normal situation. Just say what you mean and stop dancing around silly social games like this.

hocuspocus 5y ago

On the contrary I feel like that's pretty close to what my PO and PMs do all day. I used to work at a former Nokia company and my PO was Finnish. He would get people upset all the time by simply being too direct, especially with American colleagues.

gavinray 5y ago
Maybe I'm the odd the one then. I get mildly upset when people send me messages like this, because I know that wasn't what was in their head and that's not what they wanted to tell me. It feels really... I don't know, like you can't even bother to speak to me like we're human beings. I'd rather someone just talk to me like a normal person than use this corporate buzzword speak. But I was also raised in a family where you'd be told to "stop being an idiot" and then an explanation of why what you're doing was stupid. My mum wasn't one to mince words.
- ModernMech 5y ago
  The suggestions here seem like they're taking a sentiment with negative framing and just recasting it in a positive light. A lot of the corrected phrases assign blame, are hostile, overly confrontational, flippant, accusatory, curt, and impolite. Are you saying this kind of communication is how you think normal humans should speak with one another? What kind of environment do you think is created when everyone speaks that way to one another? Is that a place you'd like to work?
  - legalcorrection 5y ago
    In a high-trust environment, candor is not perceived as hostile. When you encourage people to interpret candor as hostility, you make everyone constantly afraid of offending others. It's hard to build trust and rapport with your coworkers in that environment.
    - ModernMech 5y ago
      I don't think calling someone an idiot, for example, is candor. I have plenty of trust and rapport with my coworkers, and I can't imagine them saying anything of the sort on this list to me. That's actually how we've built the trust we enjoy, by not engaging in the kind of language exhibited in TFA.
      - gavinray 5y ago
        It might be a cultural thing. If you can casually tell someone they're acting like an idiot, it's (to me) a sign that you have a level of trust with that person and the ability to empathize/communicate with each other. If someone comes to you in private and says, "Look man, you're really fucking up.", it hits different than "You might reconsider some of your recent behaviors." It shows that you are emotionally invested enough to use empathic language, rather than make blasé/meek innuendos to avoid any chance of offending them. The point is "You need to hear this" and not "I want to avoid offending you", which feels more productive to me.

QuarterReptile 5y ago

I found myself laughing for having used a majority of these phrases in meetings or emails. To each his own, I guess. The initial phrase is what you use in verbal communication, if you have a close working relationship. The 'professional' version goes in the email, which you assume is publicly distributed.

DennisP 5y ago

People do in fact speak this way in corporate situations. I once sat in a meeting of reps from about a dozen big companies in the agchem industry. They were proposing some kind of cooperative data thing. One guy spent five minutes spouting exactly this sort of enterprise speak, and it all could have been boiled down "what's in it for us?"

mattcwilson 5y ago
I wonder if the people speaking this way in corporate settings just don’t know how to do better? A good deal of corporate culture is people just following the patterns they see around them to conform. A good deal of culture change is just proudly, kindly, and confidently demonstrating how to do better - and having epic patience to wait for people to take notice and start following you (which might never happen.)

marginalia_nu 5y ago

Like it or not, this is what a lot of enterprise communication sounds like. Half the reason for mastering it is to avoid coming off as a huge back of dicks by inadvertently sending the wrong message through some polite-seeming offer to help or whatever.

rytis 5y ago

you'd be surprised... I've had "it has come to my attention that you ran 'rm /var/log/some_random_log' when you should have enquired regarding the importance of said 'some_random_log'" instead of "wtf did you just remove some_random_log, you nut" in the past.

junon 5y ago

I only use this tone when I'm trying to convey that someone is pissing me off. Usually works.