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> The stereotype that women barely ever date "below" them, in wealth, height, status, remains true. Your character still matters, but only after checking the ab

> The stereotype that women barely ever date "below" them, in wealth, height, status, remains true. Your character still matters, but only after checking the above boxes. Men are selected by utility, with disastrous consequences for those that get left behind, as there's no mercy for them. You can't explain the harsh "be 6' or keep moving" requirement or the open ridiculing of short men on evolutionary selection alone. If it was this cut-and-dry, 80% of American women would just be single at any given point in time, or they'd all be in polyamorous relationships, or dating their own gender. Only 20% of American men are 6'0". I'm assuming that it's not this cut-and-dry, and that most American women are willing to date the other 80% of men.

fleddr 4y ago
Fair enough, I'd then rephrase that women generally attempt to select at equal or higher level (in wealth, status, strength) and will at times settle for the closest match to that ambition. Men are far more lax in their criteria. We could just accept that as "the way it is", but modern developments in this dynamic create horrendous imbalances. There was an excellent article about it a while ago, but I don't have the link, so I'll try to reproduce the gist of it. Assume the behavior that women select "above" them. Now add the trend where women are rapidly rising in their economic status. The logical outcome is that a growing number of women are basically selecting for a "super man", that are in very short supply. They need to be even more economically successful than before, and of course easy on the eyes and able to do male chores. And emotionally mature/advanced. And....and.....and....and. This dynamic is often confirmed by research on dating sites where the vast majority of female attention goes to the "top" 10% of men, whilst everybody else is pretty much ignored. This in turn creates a counter-reaction where the ignored men basically just use a drag net, posting many low effort messages (any love is good love) that confirm to the women that those men are of a poor quality. For sure, a lot of settlement and compromises will happen to match more than just 10%, but the point of the article was that the elevated criteria leaves behind an enormous group of men, in the US running into the millions. These men might be low wage workers with average looks, and not much else going for them. This used to be enough, but it isn't anymore. They get no match. Ever. Many run into depression, start drinking, end up on the streets, kill themselves. The reason I'm mentioning this is because it's worthy to know this, it's a fairly new development that few talk about. And I say it to highlight how cruel our society is towards men at the bottom. If as a man you don't make it on your own, there's zero empathy. I'll be hated for saying it, but women play a decisive role in this dynamic. Whilst for sure they can date whoever they want, the stubborn refusal to even consider vast groups of men based on their wealth or height is inhumane. I find it particularly hypocritical in light of modern feminism where it's often expressed how household and childcare tasks should be more equally divided. These men would be an ideal fit. They'd have the less important job, thus more ability to do it. I'm sure that amidst millions of such men, one can find a nice guy with reasonable looks. But no. They're not even considered. I guess the point wasn't equality after all. The patriarchy is powered by women.
- mxkopy 4y ago

fleddr 4y ago

Fair enough, I'd then rephrase that women generally attempt to select at equal or higher level (in wealth, status, strength) and will at times settle for the closest match to that ambition. Men are far more lax in their criteria. We could just accept that as "the way it is", but modern developments in this dynamic create horrendous imbalances. There was an excellent article about it a while ago, but I don't have the link, so I'll try to reproduce the gist of it. Assume the behavior that women select "above" them. Now add the trend where women are rapidly rising in their economic status. The logical outcome is that a growing number of women are basically selecting for a "super man", that are in very short supply. They need to be even more economically successful than before, and of course easy on the eyes and able to do male chores. And emotionally mature/advanced. And....and.....and....and. This dynamic is often confirmed by research on dating sites where the vast majority of female attention goes to the "top" 10% of men, whilst everybody else is pretty much ignored. This in turn creates a counter-reaction where the ignored men basically just use a drag net, posting many low effort messages (any love is good love) that confirm to the women that those men are of a poor quality. For sure, a lot of settlement and compromises will happen to match more than just 10%, but the point of the article was that the elevated criteria leaves behind an enormous group of men, in the US running into the millions. These men might be low wage workers with average looks, and not much else going for them. This used to be enough, but it isn't anymore. They get no match. Ever. Many run into depression, start drinking, end up on the streets, kill themselves. The reason I'm mentioning this is because it's worthy to know this, it's a fairly new development that few talk about. And I say it to highlight how cruel our society is towards men at the bottom. If as a man you don't make it on your own, there's zero empathy. I'll be hated for saying it, but women play a decisive role in this dynamic. Whilst for sure they can date whoever they want, the stubborn refusal to even consider vast groups of men based on their wealth or height is inhumane. I find it particularly hypocritical in light of modern feminism where it's often expressed how household and childcare tasks should be more equally divided. These men would be an ideal fit. They'd have the less important job, thus more ability to do it. I'm sure that amidst millions of such men, one can find a nice guy with reasonable looks. But no. They're not even considered. I guess the point wasn't equality after all. The patriarchy is powered by women.

mxkopy 4y ago