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> Yeah, the thing which bothers me the most is that people don't even try to educate themselves. Nuance is really important. I mean, I even agree with some of
by throwaway602ee 4y ago
> Yeah, the thing which bothers me the most is that people don't even try to educate themselves.
Nuance is really important. I mean, I even agree with some of the concerns from social conservatives about transitioning and self-identification and "social contagions" and such. We should try to understand as well as we can, and not push anything on people they may not have felt themselves. It's important to not tell someone they're trans, pushing an identity onto them. There are discussions to be had.
... At the same time, though, that's not the whole story, as some social conservatives would have one believe, and those are not a reason to dismiss trans people. I remember having "gender dysphoria" feelings from a young age. It wasn't about dresses, or barbies, or whatever. I was uncomfortable taking my shirt off to go swimming, assuming my chest was more like my mother's or sister's than my father's or brother's. My genitals just seemed foreign to me. It got worse through puberty as these "male" features became more real.
If you'd thrown me on a deserted island with no culture, I would've still had gender dysphoria.
How do we make life comfortable for people who share in my experience? How do we make puberty less traumatic and do as much as we can to help them feel "normal"? These are questions that social conservatives dismiss as not real problems, but they were real problems for me.
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> What do you think my reaction was, when I first heard of trans-people as a young teenager?
When I was a teenager, there was no talk of trans people, anywhere. It was an unheard of topic. I still had the feelings I did.
When I first heard of them when I was a little older (~20), it was amazing to finally know I wasn't alone in the feelings I shared. I booked an appointment with a licensed mental health therapist the next month to talk about it. On the rise of awareness of trans people, I thought, "Good! They won't have to go through quite what I went through." Today, I worry they're worse off than it being unknown like it was for me.
What ended up making me feel notably better was estrogen. It was strange how well it worked, although I still had distress over my physical features until I was fully transitioned. Now that I am... my gender dysphoria is cured. I still enjoy the same hobbies, listen to the same music, read the same books, play the same video games, and even dress in a similar style. I just don't have distress over my physical features anymore. Like getting treated for any other medical issue, the treatment made the issues I experienced go away. Now the only time I feel distress is when I hear people calling for the death of trans people or blaming societal ills on us.
I don't know why I'm writing all of this, so I'm going to stop here.
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> so all I can do is try to be empathic.
I really appreciate it. All of us do. It means a lot.
> I wish you all the strength you need, don't give up!
Thanks!
- Minor49er 4y agoAre you having a conversation with yourself? Your posts follow an uncommon, yet identical formatting and phrasing
- throwaway602ee 4y agoNo. I copied the person I was replying to's formatting because I thought it improved readability, and if there is any similarity in phrasing, it is coincidental.
- Minor49er 4y agoA likely story
- 4ggr0 4y ago> concerns from social conservatives about transitioning and self-identification and "social contagions" and such. We should try to understand as well as we can, and not push anything on people they may not have felt themselves. 100%. We have to approach this topic not only by accepting it, but also by sincerely discussing certain aspects of it. No teen should undergo surgery because of peer-pressure. On the other hand, teens who are certain that they're trans should receive the help they deserve. Difficult to navigate, but doable. > If you'd thrown me on a deserted island with no culture, I would've still had gender dysphoria That's something I have always wondered, and I know that the question is hypothetical, so its up to you to answer - Let's say we live in a world where gender roles and norms don't exist. People visit the doctor they need to see, but socially, people just are who they are. Would gender dysphoria still be a thing? > Today, I worry they're worse off than it being unknown like it was for me I know what you mean, that in a way they have a bigger spotlight on them. On the other hand, we have way more knowledge about this topic and newer generations are more open about it, so I don't think its that bad. > I don't know why I'm writing all of this, so I'm going to stop here. Was really interesting for me to read about your experience, but I see that a site like HN is probably not the best site for such deeply personal things. Would be really interesting to hear more about your experience. Maybe another time.