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> * How much money would you hope to arrive?* I'd be so happy with just enough to cover rent, food, utilities and my pets' (minimal) expenses. Nothing extravag
by notRobot 5y ago
> * How much money would you hope to arrive?*
I'd be so happy with just enough to cover rent, food, utilities and my pets' (minimal) expenses. Nothing extravagant, nothing for splurging.
I try not to talk about personal stuff on HN, but I guess today is an exception, here's a bunch of context you didn't ask for:
I moved out of a bad home environment at a very young age, while I was still a student. Juggling being a full-time student and being a full-time employee at the same time took a serious toll on me. And then I never got to take a break or vacation, never had time to 'reset', because rent is always due in a few weeks, I just had to keep working and working and working. Hence the burn out.
To make matters worse, I like to work as a generalist. I do development, graphic design, web design, writing, marketing, and a bunch of other stuff. I love this, but it's really hard to find people who are willing to bring on relatively young people for such a role.
Startups are open to it sometimes, but I've had some not great experiences where they've been borderline/outright exploitative.
The cost of living is very high where I live, and it's generally hard to find companies willing to pay someone my age a proper salary on which they can live alone, unfortunately. :/
It's not all bad though. Luckily I have some amazing people as friends, and they're a great support system. And last year I found an amazing therapist, and I think that has helped me a lot.
> Do you see "light at the end of the tunnel"?
I think I do, yeah. (But it's a tiny speck, faaaaaar away!) I've been though worse, and I always do find a way to get through it, it's not like I have a choice, right? :D
I would also not say I'm particularly depressed at the moment. I kinda just feel exhausted a lot lately, I would really just love a break, honestly.
I very recently started trying to find work as a PHP backend engineer. It's never something I've done full-time, but it's a language I've used extensively since I was a tween, and I have a lot of fun with it, so I think that would be pretty awesome if it works out :)
Anyway, yeah, sorry for the huge wall of text, dunno if it's something that interests you, haha. Thanks for asking this question though, I've had fun going through the other responses.
- kite_and_code 4y agoThank you so much for sharing your story! I find it very inspiring! Looking at the suicide rates in the world I am glad that you are not part of the statistics although you were struggling a lot in life. Also, it's heart-warming for me to read that you have hope and a path forward and I wish you all the strength to get ahead and ... to ... keep ... moving. Just like in the poem https://poets.org/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night https://poets.org/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night And I hope that every now and then you find something pleasureable in life as well! (A notion which I miss in the poem - maybe there is a better one? :D) And I am glad you enjoy reading the other responses! Thank you for mentioning this!
- notRobot 4y agoThank you :) > And I hope that every now and then you find something pleasurable in life as well! Here's a poem I like to read to remind myself that there are some really beautiful things in life that we don't notice: https://englishverse.com/poems/leisure https://englishverse.com/poems/leisure
- kite_and_code 4y agoI love it - thanks for sharing :)