It seems to me like I have been where you are and for me the solution was to first get stable via enjoying life with my pleasures e.g. spend time with people wi

It seems to me like I have been where you are and for me the solution was to first get stable via enjoying life with my pleasures e.g. spend time with people with whom I enjoy spending time, doing things I like, regular connection to my body (workout), connection to my wife e.g. book "hold me tight". And after I got stable, I found my resilience via tackling the question of death because it contained the solution to my happiness/struggles. Also, happy to share my experiences with you off-topic if you want because it changed my life. You can find my contact details in my profile