3 ms·

I don't think you're right. Kids are naturally flexible, curious and have no notion of right or wrong. They will constantly try things out and need boundaries f

• dsego 4y ago
  Boundaries are good, but extortion and intimidation is not the way to do it. You can withhold candy but throwing it away is hurtful and cruel. Speaking as someone who is currently dealing with a very disobedient 2-year old. In any case, to keep kids behaving on a car road trip, you need to keep them busy and take care of their basic needs, being still and strapped in the back seat is not fun.
  • andai 4y ago
    I actively rebelled against attempts to control my behavior. I think this is a good character trait to have: it made me a pain in the ass as a kid, but a populace with such a trait would not tolerate government overreach for a single instant. I'd rather get into a lot of trouble than let someone control my life. Also, to expand on the cruel punishment thing (an extreme example but I believe it's just a more pathological manifestation of the same thing): my mother would sometimes break my things as punishment, for example toys or CDs that were gifts from friends. 15 years later, it still stings. All that taught me was that she was immoral (and possibly insane) which made me rather unreceptive to her future attempts to "educate" me.
    • ClumsyPilot 4y ago
      > : it made me a pain in the ass as a kid, but a populace with such a trait would not tolerate government overreach for a single instant. I'd rather get into a lot of trouble than let someone control my life. Education system does not teach science or life - it teaches compliance, obedience, to sit down, shut up and complete work by deadline
    • dsego 4y ago
      > my mother would sometimes break my things as punishment, for example toys or CDs that were gifts from friends I'm sorry to hear that, it doesn't sound like healthy or grownup behavior. I recognize a lot of that in my own parents, I don't blame them, but a lot of their actions during my childhood I would now find petty or even emotionally abusive (characteristic of borderline or narcissism). They had their own problems I guess, their parents probably did worse things.
• andai 4y ago
  I'll admit, I don't have much experience being on the other end and actually dealing with misbehaving children (or teens, or adults for that matter), but I still have a strong bias towards peaceful dispute resolution rather than just forcing things on people and justifying it by saying I'm wiser and more powerful. (The governments of the world have been doing this an awful lot lately...) I might illustrate with an example of something that happened yesterday. My mother and I were feeding some feral cats near our building when we were verbally assaulted by a neighbor, who strongly disapproved of this practice (he literally said "not in my back yard!" But it's an apartment building so it's our backyard too.) My mother's instinct was first to run, and second to get the police involved (he seemed to be a bit mentally unwell, so she feared him). My instinct was to talk to the man, despite his frightening appearance, and understand his perspective. What is it about the cats that bothers him? Maybe it's the fact that people haven't been cleaning up the food trays, so it looks messy. It could be any number of things. But my fundamental thinking is that if I talk to him I will understand him better, and be able to come to an understanding. Whereas my mother's perspective is "he is mentally ill and therefore not even worth engaging with." I bring this up because most people's perspective on children seems to be "they are a child and therefore their perspective is irrelevant. I am going to force my perspective on them, and force them to do what I want, at least until they are a legal adult." I disagree with this, because it conditions people for their entire formative years to instill a sense of powerlessness and a sense of not mattering. In most countries, such disrespect of children is actually required by law. From a young age I had no interest in continuing school, but I was forced to pretend to go along with it for another 5 years, or the police would be sent after my parents.
  • treis 4y ago
    >I don't have much experience being on the other end and actually dealing with misbehaving children I do and managing young kids on a long road trip is war. You do what you can to survive and try not to feel too bad about it after.