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Having thought about this some more, I guess I have got some observations that could pass as hard-won wisdom: I try to accept people as they are, without tryin
by niccl 4y ago
Having thought about this some more, I guess I have got some observations that could pass as hard-won wisdom:
I try to accept people as they are, without trying to change them
I try to treat people with respect
When debugging, I try to fix the problem I can see then deal with what's left
I try to treat someone's hurtful comment as more likely the result of a bad day or thoughtlessness, rather than malice
I try hard to avoid giving advice, and instead try to ask questions: 'have you thought about doing X?'. And I will try _really_ hard to avoid 'you should do ... ' or 'you ought to ...'
I believe that in almost all cases (I haven't yet found a counter) a decision is either easy or it doesn't matter
- lalopalota 4y agoPhrasing advice as a "question" has always come across as patronizing to me. Someone is giving advice, they know they are giving advice, but they seem to think that rewording it into a question makes it more acceptable to the receiver?
- Shaanie 4y agoIt becomes more of a discussion and is less likely to bruise egos. In my experience I've had more success getting things done by building concensus that way, but ymmw.