3 ms·

Heading towards 70 here. I find that as I get older I get less dogmatic and certain about almost everything, so I don't think it's appropriate for me to lay dow

• niccl 4y ago
  Having thought about this some more, I guess I have got some observations that could pass as hard-won wisdom: I try to accept people as they are, without trying to change them I try to treat people with respect When debugging, I try to fix the problem I can see then deal with what's left I try to treat someone's hurtful comment as more likely the result of a bad day or thoughtlessness, rather than malice I try hard to avoid giving advice, and instead try to ask questions: 'have you thought about doing X?'. And I will try _really_ hard to avoid 'you should do ... ' or 'you ought to ...' I believe that in almost all cases (I haven't yet found a counter) a decision is either easy or it doesn't matter
  • lalopalota 4y ago
    Phrasing advice as a "question" has always come across as patronizing to me. Someone is giving advice, they know they are giving advice, but they seem to think that rewording it into a question makes it more acceptable to the receiver?
    • Shaanie 4y ago
      It becomes more of a discussion and is less likely to bruise egos. In my experience I've had more success getting things done by building concensus that way, but ymmw.
• sdevonoes 4y ago
  Feel exactly the same (but I'm on my late 30s). Which is a bit of a problem when one has to hold the role of "lead" or something similar. I just don't feel certain about almost anything (I do have opinions and experiences, sure, but I'm never 100% sure about anything).