6 ms·

My uncle (RIP), who was a child psychologist was a staunch proponent of treating his kids with respect and intellectual honesty. Like most kids, they still got

by devmor 4y ago

My uncle (RIP), who was a child psychologist was a staunch proponent of treating his kids with respect and intellectual honesty. Like most kids, they still got into trouble and had major screw ups in their young lives. However I've never seen anyone who respected their parents more in my life. There were no beatings, no yelling, no destroying or selling of their property as punishment. And wouldn't you know it, when they got in trouble for something they did wrong - they didn't resent their parents for it. They were always expressive that their mistake (or the general view of society that what they did is a mistake) was the problem. It's hardly empirical evidence but it certainly convinced me.

donthellbanme 4y ago
I get what you are saying completely, and completely agree. I have noticed male children, especially the first born male, who's father is a Psychiatrist end up--well--what's the right phrase? Some seem very angry. It's just something I noticed in my small circle. I'm probally wrong, but it's something I have noticed.
- vosper 4y ago
  How many people do you know who are the first-born male child of a male Psychiatrist? I'm thinking your sample size might be a little small to be drawing conclusions :) (that and, how are you sure you're not experiencing confirmation bias?)
  - Dudeman112 4y ago
    That seemed like an oddly specific filter. Unless there's some condition that make them more likely to know about first born males of male psychiatrists, I would have bet on "definitely small sample" too
- neuroma 4y ago
  I'd suggest that 1. Psychiatrists and very different to psychologists 2. Intra job variation of personality and parenting style probably exceeds inter job variation 3. Anger at dad may not be a consequence of their job
  - louky 4y ago
    I had one of each (Psychologist, Psychiatrist) as parents. Could have been worse. Almost no anger 40 years later!
- rpod 4y ago
  As the first-born son of a psychiatrist, I feel inclined to add the data point that I do not recognize this in myself. I have a fairly neurotic personality, though, maybe that's the word you are looking for? Then again I don't think my father's profession has had a significant impact on my personality. Maybe it has more to do with a type of personality that professions like psychiatry attract? It's hardly disputed that your parents' personalities tend to rub off on you.
disiplus 4y ago
i have two boys, 3 and 5. You cannot ignore what they are doing. If one of them starts to something wrong the other one joins so you have a double chance of trouble. And if we are outside and they start to misbehave in public you cannot ignore them. If they start to throw things at objects or people you cannot ignore them. If they start to say things that are not appropriate, you cannot ignore them (they favourite word right now is shit). when they start fighting i cannot ignore it. Im reading those opinions online and cannot at all connect it with what im seeing with my kids.
- dsego 4y ago
  Of course you have to stop them if they are misbehaving or causing harm. A good book on this topic is "How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7".
  - lupire 4y ago
    "And listen so kids will talk". Very important part!
  - floydnoel 4y ago
    I’m just finishing “What Do You Say,” which is a follow up to the self driven child. I am really enjoying it and wishing I read both sooner!
- Ntrails 4y ago
  > You cannot ignore what they are doing [all the time] You are obviously correct here and the giant pitfall of parenting advice is generalisation. Your kids are bickering on a car journey? You have choices in how to respond. Your kids are throwing stones at passers by? That has to stop right now as fast as you can apply influence with a transition from verbal to physical based on distance. Don't take anything you read here as gospel. Note the myriad of parenting attitudes and common child behaviours globally. Accept you are doing it wrong, we all have/do/will.
- katbyte 4y ago
  I don't think anyone is saying ignore it, just that how you address it really matters. I grew up with a sibling and we got up to all sorts of trouble/fights and our parents were severe about it. all the punishment did was make sure we didn't do x or y in-front of the parents. Like it did teach me to be a great liar and sneak and we got up to all the hijinks, but I don't think that is the ideal parental outcome despite how well it has served me in life.

by devmor 4y ago

donthellbanme 4y ago

I get what you are saying completely, and completely agree. I have noticed male children, especially the first born male, who's father is a Psychiatrist end up--well--what's the right phrase? Some seem very angry. It's just something I noticed in my small circle. I'm probally wrong, but it's something I have noticed.

vosper 4y ago
How many people do you know who are the first-born male child of a male Psychiatrist? I'm thinking your sample size might be a little small to be drawing conclusions :) (that and, how are you sure you're not experiencing confirmation bias?)
- Dudeman112 4y ago
  That seemed like an oddly specific filter. Unless there's some condition that make them more likely to know about first born males of male psychiatrists, I would have bet on "definitely small sample" too
neuroma 4y ago
I'd suggest that 1. Psychiatrists and very different to psychologists 2. Intra job variation of personality and parenting style probably exceeds inter job variation 3. Anger at dad may not be a consequence of their job
- louky 4y ago
  I had one of each (Psychologist, Psychiatrist) as parents. Could have been worse. Almost no anger 40 years later!
rpod 4y ago
As the first-born son of a psychiatrist, I feel inclined to add the data point that I do not recognize this in myself. I have a fairly neurotic personality, though, maybe that's the word you are looking for? Then again I don't think my father's profession has had a significant impact on my personality. Maybe it has more to do with a type of personality that professions like psychiatry attract? It's hardly disputed that your parents' personalities tend to rub off on you.

disiplus 4y ago

i have two boys, 3 and 5. You cannot ignore what they are doing. If one of them starts to something wrong the other one joins so you have a double chance of trouble. And if we are outside and they start to misbehave in public you cannot ignore them. If they start to throw things at objects or people you cannot ignore them. If they start to say things that are not appropriate, you cannot ignore them (they favourite word right now is shit). when they start fighting i cannot ignore it. Im reading those opinions online and cannot at all connect it with what im seeing with my kids.

dsego 4y ago
Of course you have to stop them if they are misbehaving or causing harm. A good book on this topic is "How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7".
- lupire 4y ago
  "And listen so kids will talk". Very important part!
- floydnoel 4y ago
  I’m just finishing “What Do You Say,” which is a follow up to the self driven child. I am really enjoying it and wishing I read both sooner!
Ntrails 4y ago
> You cannot ignore what they are doing [all the time] You are obviously correct here and the giant pitfall of parenting advice is generalisation. Your kids are bickering on a car journey? You have choices in how to respond. Your kids are throwing stones at passers by? That has to stop right now as fast as you can apply influence with a transition from verbal to physical based on distance. Don't take anything you read here as gospel. Note the myriad of parenting attitudes and common child behaviours globally. Accept you are doing it wrong, we all have/do/will.
katbyte 4y ago
I don't think anyone is saying ignore it, just that how you address it really matters. I grew up with a sibling and we got up to all sorts of trouble/fights and our parents were severe about it. all the punishment did was make sure we didn't do x or y in-front of the parents. Like it did teach me to be a great liar and sneak and we got up to all the hijinks, but I don't think that is the ideal parental outcome despite how well it has served me in life.