3 ms·

A little ironic that you ding this list for being banal, not really actionable, and basically generic self-help, and then follow that with - >> I think a bette

A little ironic that you ding this list for being banal, not really actionable, and basically generic self-help, and then follow that with - >> I think a better option is to choose one particular thing you want to improve in yourself and have a focused plan to work on it.

saberience 4y ago
I could write an essay on this topic but it's far too complex of a topic to summarize in a quick comment. But for example, quickly: One thing I personally do is journal every day (yes every day) before I do anything else. That is, I get up, grab a coffee and write roughly 1000 words. I will choose certain topics on which to journal and focus on these for a few weeks, for example: looking at how my relationships are going, how I interact with people, where I find myself energised and working well with others, and where I'm getting annoyed or frustrated or otherwise have some issues. I try and increase my levels of consciousness around certain topics in my life to gain a lasting impact and changed and improved behaviors. I use certain techniques like sentence completions (thanks Nathaniel Branden!) and also asking myself provocative questions (e.g. "What did today's experience touch in my history?") to gain learning and insight in certain areas of my life. The point being that to genuinely CHANGE as a person (in my belief), reading a list of snappy aphorisms is useless, you need to change your habits, daily routines, you need repitition and work. Sincere self reflection is difficult, as is changing the habits and brain patterns of a lifetime.
- motoxpro 4y ago
  I think they meant it was ironic because you criticized the list as generic and then gave generic advice yourself. Which obviously you don't find generic as you say "it's far too complex of a topic to summarize in a quick comment". The irony is that you weren't willing to think deeply about any of the 103 "generic" items on the list, hence you got nothing out of it.
  - lostcolony 4y ago
    Yep, it was purely calling out the irony I saw in that. I in fact I completely agree with the criticisms, though I personally find high level things like the list helpful at times because it causes me to think or provides me a heuristic to engage with. "When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers" for instance, is not directly actionable, but it's a solid summation of and validation of a lot of the more tactical decisions, risks, and investments in people I've made as a manager. It's not directly actionable, but it succinctly puts into words a series of tradeoffs I've intentionally made in the past, which is helpful. Others on the list -are- directly actionable; for instance, I -did- use it as an excuse to go pull up a city tourist guide...and I found a few restaurants I now intend to check out, including a Spanish one with a Flamenco show that my wife will probably love, that I didn't even know existed. I actually find specific advice very hit or miss (mostly miss); I've seen similar comments on journaling in the past, and I haven't found it helpful for me. Whereas anything I can hold in my head (and aphorisms fit, if as I thought about them I found them to hold weight, rather than just being truly empty statements, tautologies or statements of empty optimism that are meant to make you feel good rather than influence a decision) means it can pop up when suitably relevant and influence my behavior. For instance, with relationships, I missed my grandfather's funeral. Not a big deal to me at the time; he was dead, and I'd get to see my grandmother a few month's later at Christmas time when the semester was over. Except...she passed the day I was supposed to drive down. And it further drove a wedge between me and members of my family (that initially was there due to circumstances beyond my control) that I've only really begun to overcome in the past few years. All of that means I periodically, at random, have "what relationships are you neglecting?" pop into my head, as well as in response to certain occurrences (weddings and funerals are always a "yes" from me now, no matter how much of an inconvenience it is), and that implies action; "Oh, I haven't heard from my cousin in a while, let me just check in with her", etc.

saberience 4y ago

I could write an essay on this topic but it's far too complex of a topic to summarize in a quick comment. But for example, quickly: One thing I personally do is journal every day (yes every day) before I do anything else. That is, I get up, grab a coffee and write roughly 1000 words. I will choose certain topics on which to journal and focus on these for a few weeks, for example: looking at how my relationships are going, how I interact with people, where I find myself energised and working well with others, and where I'm getting annoyed or frustrated or otherwise have some issues. I try and increase my levels of consciousness around certain topics in my life to gain a lasting impact and changed and improved behaviors. I use certain techniques like sentence completions (thanks Nathaniel Branden!) and also asking myself provocative questions (e.g. "What did today's experience touch in my history?") to gain learning and insight in certain areas of my life. The point being that to genuinely CHANGE as a person (in my belief), reading a list of snappy aphorisms is useless, you need to change your habits, daily routines, you need repitition and work. Sincere self reflection is difficult, as is changing the habits and brain patterns of a lifetime.

motoxpro 4y ago
I think they meant it was ironic because you criticized the list as generic and then gave generic advice yourself. Which obviously you don't find generic as you say "it's far too complex of a topic to summarize in a quick comment". The irony is that you weren't willing to think deeply about any of the 103 "generic" items on the list, hence you got nothing out of it.
- lostcolony 4y ago
  Yep, it was purely calling out the irony I saw in that. I in fact I completely agree with the criticisms, though I personally find high level things like the list helpful at times because it causes me to think or provides me a heuristic to engage with. "When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers" for instance, is not directly actionable, but it's a solid summation of and validation of a lot of the more tactical decisions, risks, and investments in people I've made as a manager. It's not directly actionable, but it succinctly puts into words a series of tradeoffs I've intentionally made in the past, which is helpful. Others on the list -are- directly actionable; for instance, I -did- use it as an excuse to go pull up a city tourist guide...and I found a few restaurants I now intend to check out, including a Spanish one with a Flamenco show that my wife will probably love, that I didn't even know existed. I actually find specific advice very hit or miss (mostly miss); I've seen similar comments on journaling in the past, and I haven't found it helpful for me. Whereas anything I can hold in my head (and aphorisms fit, if as I thought about them I found them to hold weight, rather than just being truly empty statements, tautologies or statements of empty optimism that are meant to make you feel good rather than influence a decision) means it can pop up when suitably relevant and influence my behavior. For instance, with relationships, I missed my grandfather's funeral. Not a big deal to me at the time; he was dead, and I'd get to see my grandmother a few month's later at Christmas time when the semester was over. Except...she passed the day I was supposed to drive down. And it further drove a wedge between me and members of my family (that initially was there due to circumstances beyond my control) that I've only really begun to overcome in the past few years. All of that means I periodically, at random, have "what relationships are you neglecting?" pop into my head, as well as in response to certain occurrences (weddings and funerals are always a "yes" from me now, no matter how much of an inconvenience it is), and that implies action; "Oh, I haven't heard from my cousin in a while, let me just check in with her", etc.