4 ms·

I can't imagine anyone kind saying "I think I am kind, but not nice."

NateEag 4y ago
I see the two as quite different. To me, "kind" implies taking time and effort for someone, investing in them. That might mean engaging in conflict with them, if that seems to be what they need. "Nice," on the other hand, suggests to me being polite, delicate, and never making anyone uncomfortable. Niceness makes no enemies and wins no friends. It benefits the nice one more than anyone else, and is principally a strategy for staying out of trouble. Kindness costs the giver something, sometimes the risk of giving offense, sometimes their time, sometimes the loss of power and influence because of making an unpopular choice that helps someone who really needed it. It is principally a strategy for taking care of others. That's how I see it, anyway. YMMV.
- immigrantheart 4y ago
  You worded it perfectly.
  - NateEag 4y ago
    Thanks. Glad I was able to help clarify.
- AndyNemmity 4y ago
  Okay, to me kind means the definition "having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature." I'm not familiar with what you're describing, but I saw another reply with a twitter thread explaining something similar to what you're proposing, so perhaps I'm just out of the loop.
  - NateEag 4y ago
    I think what I'm describing might fit into the "generous, considerate" part of the definition you cite. The senses I associate with the two words are probably more connotations than denotations, though.
imnotlost 4y ago
It's sort of like this: "When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad." [1] https://twitter.com/jordonaut/status/1352363163686068226 https://twitter.com/jordonaut/status/1352363163686068226
- immigrantheart 4y ago
  lol I live in East Coast (NYC) lol.
- Biganon 4y ago
  You mean people get mad when you imply they are kinda pleasant on the outside but don't have a good heart? Color me shocked!
  - AndyNemmity 4y ago
    Right. It seems to be a way for unkind people to explain they are actually kind, and that's more important. I'm deeply confused, but it's not worth arguing about.
adhesive_wombat 4y ago
Probably the people who proudly proclaim to "have no filter".

I see the two as quite different. To me, "kind" implies taking time and effort for someone, investing in them. That might mean engaging in conflict with them, if that seems to be what they need. "Nice," on the other hand, suggests to me being polite, delicate, and never making anyone uncomfortable. Niceness makes no enemies and wins no friends. It benefits the nice one more than anyone else, and is principally a strategy for staying out of trouble. Kindness costs the giver something, sometimes the risk of giving offense, sometimes their time, sometimes the loss of power and influence because of making an unpopular choice that helps someone who really needed it. It is principally a strategy for taking care of others. That's how I see it, anyway. YMMV.

immigrantheart 4y ago
You worded it perfectly.
- NateEag 4y ago
  Thanks. Glad I was able to help clarify.
AndyNemmity 4y ago
Okay, to me kind means the definition "having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature." I'm not familiar with what you're describing, but I saw another reply with a twitter thread explaining something similar to what you're proposing, so perhaps I'm just out of the loop.
- NateEag 4y ago
  I think what I'm describing might fit into the "generous, considerate" part of the definition you cite. The senses I associate with the two words are probably more connotations than denotations, though.

imnotlost 4y ago

It's sort of like this: "When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad." [1] https://twitter.com/jordonaut/status/1352363163686068226 https://twitter.com/jordonaut/status/1352363163686068226

immigrantheart 4y ago
lol I live in East Coast (NYC) lol.
Biganon 4y ago
You mean people get mad when you imply they are kinda pleasant on the outside but don't have a good heart? Color me shocked!
- AndyNemmity 4y ago
  Right. It seems to be a way for unkind people to explain they are actually kind, and that's more important. I'm deeply confused, but it's not worth arguing about.

adhesive_wombat 4y ago

Probably the people who proudly proclaim to "have no filter".