"Please accept this rabid fruit bat as a gesture of the degree of respect I have for you and your colleagues." -> "Here's. Receive battery life as a size of r

"Please accept this rabid fruit bat as a gesture of the degree of respect I have for you and your colleagues." -> "Here's. Receive battery life as a size of respect to you and your peers." "When at last I become king, rest assured that you and all of your dastardly co-conspirators will be the first against the wall." -> "I think I am king, we hope all the authors are doing at work."