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>wants to fight about politics or other wedge issues It's always so funny that this is brought up on HN as a reason for lack of socialization or problem so oft

>wants to fight about politics or other wedge issues It's always so funny that this is brought up on HN as a reason for lack of socialization or problem so often. One of the biggest and most durable parts of my social life is being a member of a political party, which I have been in since I was 16 years old. Being involved in civic/political life means you have connections with people from all walks of life across all generations and backgrounds. just wanting to chill is the actual problem because I don't think these suburban soccermom type social circles sustain meaningful relationships. Participating in public life is the most straightforward way to build social relationships that matter. There was another great post here a few weeks ago from someone explaining why he continues to serve in the British Yeomanry. https://chrisseaton.com/army/ https://chrisseaton.com/army/

escapedmoose 5y ago
Right. It seems a bit odd that our goal in friendships is often to find someone who will “just sit and chill.” If you want any diversity in your friendships, they’ll likely need to be made “shoulder to shoulder,” ie when working toward a common cause.
- throwawayboise 5y ago
  Agreed, and it also seems to me that most adults, at least the ones leading something like meaningful lives, don't have a lot of time to "just sit and chill." When my kids were young I rarely did, there was always something going on. Now that they are older and out of the house, I have more time for myself but I'm using that time, not just sitting around (mostly not, anyway).
- moonshinefe 5y ago
  I didn't say _sit_ and chill, I just said chill and don't want politics to be the cornerstone of the friendship or something that comes up often. Partisan politics is extremely prominent here and I have no end of places to discuss them if I wanted. I don't think it's outrageous to want a hobby other than discussing politics being the main thing I connect to people on.
moonshinefe 5y ago
To clarify I meant chill as in not getting into heated politics or religious debates. If the claim is people can't find meaningful friendships without wedge issues being a cornerstone, then I respectfully disagree. I've had these before, but as mentioned the issue was moving and getting older when people drift apart.

escapedmoose 5y ago

Right. It seems a bit odd that our goal in friendships is often to find someone who will “just sit and chill.” If you want any diversity in your friendships, they’ll likely need to be made “shoulder to shoulder,” ie when working toward a common cause.

throwawayboise 5y ago
Agreed, and it also seems to me that most adults, at least the ones leading something like meaningful lives, don't have a lot of time to "just sit and chill." When my kids were young I rarely did, there was always something going on. Now that they are older and out of the house, I have more time for myself but I'm using that time, not just sitting around (mostly not, anyway).
moonshinefe 5y ago
I didn't say _sit_ and chill, I just said chill and don't want politics to be the cornerstone of the friendship or something that comes up often. Partisan politics is extremely prominent here and I have no end of places to discuss them if I wanted. I don't think it's outrageous to want a hobby other than discussing politics being the main thing I connect to people on.

moonshinefe 5y ago

To clarify I meant chill as in not getting into heated politics or religious debates. If the claim is people can't find meaningful friendships without wedge issues being a cornerstone, then I respectfully disagree. I've had these before, but as mentioned the issue was moving and getting older when people drift apart.