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What about married couples that decide not to have children ? The truth is it’s hard, and if the community does not support families then you have less childre
by dnndev 4y ago
What about married couples that decide not to have children ? The truth is it’s hard, and if the community does not support families then you have less children. Think about both parents working full time + and barely having enough to provide from a material standpoint, let along emotional and education.
Point is parenting is hard and life today makes it harder. I don’t believe wedlock is a deciding reason for people having children.
- AvocadoPanic 4y agoWe rearranged our life from DINK to SIWK for this reason. If I'm paying for childcare the expenses often increase linearly with the number of children, with my wife caring for our children we were able to double the number of children while substantially reducing costs. We are no longer jetting to Alps for skiing, and we've not had a night out without the kids in 9 years but we've different priorities now.
- dnndev 4y agoThat is great. I am glad that you were able to make this change! It was not until we had our own children that I truly understood (or maybe appreciated) when my mom would say "After all I have done for you" OR "Thats why we can never have anything nice"... HAHAH. I love it. totally relate now. On a serious side note. I think many (including us) highly underestimate how much time children require.
- igetspam 4y agoHaving come from a large family, I never realized that people didn't understand just how much work kids are. It's relentless. My wife is regularly astonished. I'm lucky to have been able to stop at one. I would have preferred married but childless but I'll take married to her over any other option, so I compromised. At with just one, we aren't spread so thin.
- AvocadoPanic 4y agoI was an only child. My wife has a brother. We felt it was important for our children to have siblings to have the opportunity for sibling relationships in adulthood.
- dnndev 4y agoThat all depends on the relationship between the siblings. I have 6 siblings and because of life choices we rarely keep in touch. My spouse is in the exact situation. Why? Is it possible our busy schedules, ability to relocate, and less dependency on each other are reasons why this may not be as important as it was at one time?
- AvocadoPanic 4y agoYes, I can see that, also you're not dead yet, you may still reshape those relationships. Also you may not have experienced the adversity necessary to forment the desire for a fuller sibling relationship.
- Nimitz14 4y agoOlder kids can help raising the others, I think having just one is where you do the maximum amount of work, also because with the later ones you are more experienced.
- AvocadoPanic 4y agoYou also miss the economies to be had with reuse. Much happier buying many things knowing all four are going to get use. Everyone gets there own new underwear. Also after the collapse of civilization, the labor of the children will be especially helpful. :)
- toomuchtodo 4y agoI think this is a reasonable course of action, of course, but also respect the DINKs who look at having kids and go “no thanks” and continue jetting off to the Alps, Turks and Caicos, or whatever. Having kids is an opportunity cost, and there’s a lot of life enjoyment to be had if you don’t have them. Kids were previously an asset a century ago, now they’re a luxury good.
- AvocadoPanic 4y agoSure r/childfree has lots of this sort. They often seem a bit too into being childfree to me, I probably wouldn't like their shitty kids anyway. There's an opportunity cost for most life decisions. Sometimes they're obscured. It's often not presented this way but for a cohort of women university and work, displaces marriage and children.
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- iratewizard 4y agoChildren born from Reddit addicts are the over-socialized version of crack babies.
- filoleg 4y agoImo r/childfree to normal people who just don't want to have kids is like r/atheism to normal people who just happen to not be religious. Both subs are absolutely insufferable, even to many of those who align with them on the core premise. It feels like a lot of users there, instead of replacing all that time/effort/money spending (that comes with having kids) with a bunch of fun/useful/exciting things to do in life, they end up replacing it with "not having kids is my personality and the ultimate activity". I agree with the core premise of both (not religious, don't want to ever have kids), but i ended up completely filtering out both subreddits. Even opening a random post from those subs on r/all is like stepping into some children- and parent-hating alternate reality cesspool, where their choice is the only "obvious" choice, and everyone else is "brainwashed" or an idiot.
- DeathArrow 4y ago>Point is parenting is hard and life today makes it harder. Only if you care about what the influencer of the day is saying. Things are much easier now as we have childcare, kindergartens, disposable diapers, milk formulas, better healthcare.
- JaimeThompson 4y agoChildcare, formula, and healthcare are also very expensive and hard for those not making lots of money to pay for in a lot of cases.