3 ms·

The definition on dictionary.com that fits my understanding best is this: "A tendency to turn inward, first examined by Jung, which often results in avoidance

The definition on dictionary.com that fits my understanding best is this: "A tendency to turn inward, first examined by Jung, which often results in avoidance of social contact, isolation and loneliness." I see introversion/social anxiety/disdain of others in the modern world to be like depression, or getting winded after going up one flight of stairs. It doesn't make you a worse person, but it shouldn't be embraced - it should be seen as something to periodically work against to keep the condition in check. When we get winded after walking up some stairs, we see we should go on more walks or jogs. When we have depression, it is beneficial to get therapy, change habits, and/or take medication. When one finds themselves disliking the idea of interacting with people (even the occasional stranger), that is a signal to periodically flex one's "emotional muscles" to counter the condition. I don't like making appointments on the phone anymore. It causes me anxiety. I find that to be a fault in myself. It is a flaw. I sometimes don't get back to friends quickly when they ask how I'm doing or if I want to hang out. That is a flaw, and one that I need to work on. I don't embrace it. When I have a negative feeling about "people" - like "ugh, people are so annoying" - I remember that is poisonous thinking to mental health and put the thought away. Or at least, I don't embrace it.

bluefirebrand 5y ago
The way you are talking about it comes across as extremely judgemental, and most of it is just plain wrong. Nowadays it is generally accepted that introverts find socializing to be exhausting while extroverts find it energizing. That's the key difference. This is thought to be due to a physiological difference in how the autonomic nervous system function. It's not a muscle to be exercised. Also, how you draw parallels between introversion and mental illness is really telling about how you view it. Being an introvert isn't a "condition" or a "flaw", and not wanting to be involved in social gatherings that you aren't interested in is not unhealthy. Being anti social or a misanthrope is a completely different issue. It's estimated that between 25-40 percent of people are introverts. That's a massive population you are writing off as defective and "needing to work on it"
- HeyLaughingBoy 5y ago
  > It's not a muscle to be exercised But maybe it should be. Just as you can lack physical strength and exercise to become stronger if you view that as desirable, you can be too introverted and work to become less so if you view your level of introversion as undesirable. OP isn't being unreasonable. It's certainly possible to find yourself in a position where you are extremely isolated. For some introverts that would be an ideal place to be, but for others it would be depressing and they would then have to learn how to become somewhat more extroverted. I think you're reading too much into what he's saying.
  - bluefirebrand 5y ago
    > But maybe it should be This is just baffling to me. What are you even saying. Are you under the impression that being more social makes you less introverted? The way lifting weights makes your body stronger? It doesn't. It just makes you appear that way to ignorant people who still think being an introvert means you aren't very social. Being social is a skill you can practice. Being an introvert has nothing to do with that skill.
    - unethical_ban 5y ago
      I'll take your assertion into consideration as I research the topic, I mean it. Yes, I for one believe socialization and introversion are correlated. I used to be more extroverted, and now I am not, and the timing correlates with some life experiences including the pandemic and WFH. I am not a king legislating that everyone think like me, but in my personal experience, to be introverted is to have anti-social tendencies, and that is something that is suboptimal, all other things being equal.
      - HeyLaughingBoy 5y ago
        Age may have something to do with it. I read (don't remember where) that around age 40 our personalities tend to change in that regard: introverts may become more extroverted and vice versa. Unfortunately, I can't remember what, if any, the explanation given was.
solenoidalslide 5y ago
You are also proving that extroversion/disdain of being alone in the modern world to be like codependency, and also a mental illness that needs to be cured by flexing your ability to not need others around without feeling anxious. The only reasonable path is to strike a balance of both.
- unethical_ban 5y ago
  Absolutely. I wholeheartedly agree that extreme extroversion is its own problem.
greedo 5y ago
Wow. So introverts are emotional weaklings who need exercise. Wow. Take a hike with this sanctimonious judgement. I see extroverts as people who are so needy they need constant socialization to counteract their feelings of inadequacy and hide this by performing social dominance rituals (see BMW owners). See how stupid that sounds? Maybe look in the mirror and think about how judgmental you're being.
- unethical_ban 5y ago
  I agree that extreme extroverts need help overcoming their constant need for interaction. My broader point is that there is normal, balanced; and there is abnormal, unbalanced, in all things. It's up to each of us to feel how we feel about what is normal, and it's culture that shapes it. I have ADHD. I am certainly depressed, but I am not diagnosed. I don't know if "bipolar" fits, but I can be extremely outgoing and center of attention one day, and extremely emotionally drained another. I'm also skinny-fat from stopping working out while continuing to drink. I have many friends, some incredibly close and genuine, but still feel lonely. All of these things are abnormal. They are flaws. They don't make me evil or wrong, but they are things I don't claim are normal or fundamentally healthy. I'm reacting to the sentiment I see online, mainly reddit and sometimes here, that thinks disliking people and/or wishing not to interact with others and/or being unable to cope with minor interpersonal annoyances at work is normal. It isn't.

bluefirebrand 5y ago

The way you are talking about it comes across as extremely judgemental, and most of it is just plain wrong. Nowadays it is generally accepted that introverts find socializing to be exhausting while extroverts find it energizing. That's the key difference. This is thought to be due to a physiological difference in how the autonomic nervous system function. It's not a muscle to be exercised. Also, how you draw parallels between introversion and mental illness is really telling about how you view it. Being an introvert isn't a "condition" or a "flaw", and not wanting to be involved in social gatherings that you aren't interested in is not unhealthy. Being anti social or a misanthrope is a completely different issue. It's estimated that between 25-40 percent of people are introverts. That's a massive population you are writing off as defective and "needing to work on it"

HeyLaughingBoy 5y ago
> It's not a muscle to be exercised But maybe it should be. Just as you can lack physical strength and exercise to become stronger if you view that as desirable, you can be too introverted and work to become less so if you view your level of introversion as undesirable. OP isn't being unreasonable. It's certainly possible to find yourself in a position where you are extremely isolated. For some introverts that would be an ideal place to be, but for others it would be depressing and they would then have to learn how to become somewhat more extroverted. I think you're reading too much into what he's saying.
- bluefirebrand 5y ago
  > But maybe it should be This is just baffling to me. What are you even saying. Are you under the impression that being more social makes you less introverted? The way lifting weights makes your body stronger? It doesn't. It just makes you appear that way to ignorant people who still think being an introvert means you aren't very social. Being social is a skill you can practice. Being an introvert has nothing to do with that skill.
  - unethical_ban 5y ago
    I'll take your assertion into consideration as I research the topic, I mean it. Yes, I for one believe socialization and introversion are correlated. I used to be more extroverted, and now I am not, and the timing correlates with some life experiences including the pandemic and WFH. I am not a king legislating that everyone think like me, but in my personal experience, to be introverted is to have anti-social tendencies, and that is something that is suboptimal, all other things being equal.
    - HeyLaughingBoy 5y ago
      Age may have something to do with it. I read (don't remember where) that around age 40 our personalities tend to change in that regard: introverts may become more extroverted and vice versa. Unfortunately, I can't remember what, if any, the explanation given was.

solenoidalslide 5y ago

You are also proving that extroversion/disdain of being alone in the modern world to be like codependency, and also a mental illness that needs to be cured by flexing your ability to not need others around without feeling anxious. The only reasonable path is to strike a balance of both.

unethical_ban 5y ago
Absolutely. I wholeheartedly agree that extreme extroversion is its own problem.

greedo 5y ago

Wow. So introverts are emotional weaklings who need exercise. Wow. Take a hike with this sanctimonious judgement. I see extroverts as people who are so needy they need constant socialization to counteract their feelings of inadequacy and hide this by performing social dominance rituals (see BMW owners). See how stupid that sounds? Maybe look in the mirror and think about how judgmental you're being.

unethical_ban 5y ago
I agree that extreme extroverts need help overcoming their constant need for interaction. My broader point is that there is normal, balanced; and there is abnormal, unbalanced, in all things. It's up to each of us to feel how we feel about what is normal, and it's culture that shapes it. I have ADHD. I am certainly depressed, but I am not diagnosed. I don't know if "bipolar" fits, but I can be extremely outgoing and center of attention one day, and extremely emotionally drained another. I'm also skinny-fat from stopping working out while continuing to drink. I have many friends, some incredibly close and genuine, but still feel lonely. All of these things are abnormal. They are flaws. They don't make me evil or wrong, but they are things I don't claim are normal or fundamentally healthy. I'm reacting to the sentiment I see online, mainly reddit and sometimes here, that thinks disliking people and/or wishing not to interact with others and/or being unable to cope with minor interpersonal annoyances at work is normal. It isn't.