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Sometimes I think the different camps on this just break down on the "shoulder tap" line. I hate having my "shoulder tapped" (literally or metaphorically) and n

Sometimes I think the different camps on this just break down on the "shoulder tap" line. I hate having my "shoulder tapped" (literally or metaphorically) and never tap on someone else's shoulder. A message saying "hey let me know when you get a chance to talk" is so much better for everyone IMO. But I recognize that other people feel the opposite and I have no problem with that. I'd like to be able to work my way and for them to be able to work their way.

jpcfl 5y ago
> A message saying "hey let me know when you get a chance to talk" is so much better for everyone IMO No, it is not. A deferral comes with overhead and is not always required. Some people, including myself, enjoy the spontaneous conversations sparked in the office. When I need to focus, I communicate this with my team. If you do not like being disturbed, communicate this with the people around you. Everyone wants to be respectful of your time and focus.
- sanderjd 5y ago
  Did you see the end part of my comment about how I know other people feel differently? Your comment does not make me the same allowance. Which is exactly the kind of self assured interrupter I really don't like to work with, and which is easier to avoid when working remotely. To me, it is just rude to interrupt people unless they explicitly communicate that they don't want to be interrupted. But again, I recognize that others don't feel this way, and I try to self select into teams where that isn't the norm.
  - jpcfl 5y ago
    I don’t understand your point and I’m not sure how I could possibly interrupt you in this format of communication.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
    - sanderjd 5y ago
      I'll try to be more clear. Say we're working together. You're saying that the default should be that you can interrupt me at any time for an interactive conversation. I can override that default by saying explicitly, "hey please don't interrupt me for X period of time". I prefer the opposite default, where you would not assume I'm interruptible any time I haven't explicitly said that I'm not. Whereas I said in my comment that I understand that some people prefer to work the opposite of my preference and I just prefer not to work with them, your comment is pretty clear that you think your way is best for everyone. I don't think that's right. That's what I was trying to say.
- valbaca 5y ago
  > Everyone wants to be respectful of your time and focus. NO THEY DONT
  - jpcfl 5y ago
    Then bring it up with HR.

jpcfl 5y ago

> A message saying "hey let me know when you get a chance to talk" is so much better for everyone IMO No, it is not. A deferral comes with overhead and is not always required. Some people, including myself, enjoy the spontaneous conversations sparked in the office. When I need to focus, I communicate this with my team. If you do not like being disturbed, communicate this with the people around you. Everyone wants to be respectful of your time and focus.

sanderjd 5y ago
Did you see the end part of my comment about how I know other people feel differently? Your comment does not make me the same allowance. Which is exactly the kind of self assured interrupter I really don't like to work with, and which is easier to avoid when working remotely. To me, it is just rude to interrupt people unless they explicitly communicate that they don't want to be interrupted. But again, I recognize that others don't feel this way, and I try to self select into teams where that isn't the norm.
- jpcfl 5y ago
  I don’t understand your point and I’m not sure how I could possibly interrupt you in this format of communication.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - sanderjd 5y ago
    I'll try to be more clear. Say we're working together. You're saying that the default should be that you can interrupt me at any time for an interactive conversation. I can override that default by saying explicitly, "hey please don't interrupt me for X period of time". I prefer the opposite default, where you would not assume I'm interruptible any time I haven't explicitly said that I'm not. Whereas I said in my comment that I understand that some people prefer to work the opposite of my preference and I just prefer not to work with them, your comment is pretty clear that you think your way is best for everyone. I don't think that's right. That's what I was trying to say.
valbaca 5y ago
> Everyone wants to be respectful of your time and focus. NO THEY DONT
- jpcfl 5y ago
  Then bring it up with HR.