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> While [diet, exercise, meditation, taking time off, etc] all have their place, at a certain point and a certain level of stress you stop being able to do it.

> While [diet, exercise, meditation, taking time off, etc] all have their place, at a certain point and a certain level of stress you stop being able to do it. It certainly can feel like that, but it is not true. You are able to do it. The key is to recognize that you are overwhelmed, you no longer have control over your attention, and your first priority is to stop and recover that control. If you operate without control over your attention, you will start making mistakes at higher frequency, and mistakes cause more mistakes, which cause more stress, in a cascade of mistakes. The brain is caught in a cycle of helpless reaction. It requires discipline to step away and regain your focus because every fiber of your being tells you "everything is important right now". This false belief is the root of much suffering. The feeling of being overwhelmed is characterized by two things: a lack of clarity (a big picture where specific steps are unclear and who's relative importance is unclear), and a lack of focus (constantly thinking of the other steps when you're executing one). You are like a chef trying to do their job with a dull knife because they don't feel they have the time to sharpen it. This forces the chef to improvise ad hoc techniques to succeed with what is effectively a new, worse tool with which they have no practice. Improvisation is laudable and useful, but it's also stressful, high-risk. Never accept that you are too stressed to deal with your stress - that's just the stress talking. :)

leaflets2 5y ago
> Never accept that you are too stressed to deal with your stress What are you supposed to do then? How do you "not accept"? > stop and recover that control. Let's say there's a severe security issue in the software you've shipped. The production servers are down, at the same time, bad luck. And you've promised to ... something, on Monday. And dinner with your girl/boyfriend in the evening, or you've promised the kids [...]. (Or replace the above, with something more applicable in your case?) What would you do? One thing could be to power off all you servers and software (to temporarily stop the security problem), and take a few days off, email auto responder. But is that going to cause less stress or more
dwaltrip 5y ago
> It certainly can feel like that, but it is not true. You are able to do it. Maybe the phrase "able to do it" is muddling things here... People can exit a situation because it is no longer serving them well. Maybe the realized they now care less about that goal relative to other things, compared to before. Maybe their needs aren't being met. Life is dynamic and complex. In general, there is nothing wrong with deciding to not do something anymore Obviously, specific situations will have many specific factors. People might be disappointed. There may be significant impacts. Perhaps you made a serious commitment. These factors can all be considered. And still, sometimes the right decision is to move on and do something different.
- javajosh 5y ago
  I think you've muddled things with a poor quote. I wasn't speaking in general, I was speaking of particular behaviors that reduce stress. The point of my comment was to encourage those who feel that they can't pause to gather themselves. I wasn't talking about quitting or changing careers.

leaflets2 5y ago

> Never accept that you are too stressed to deal with your stress What are you supposed to do then? How do you "not accept"? > stop and recover that control. Let's say there's a severe security issue in the software you've shipped. The production servers are down, at the same time, bad luck. And you've promised to ... something, on Monday. And dinner with your girl/boyfriend in the evening, or you've promised the kids [...]. (Or replace the above, with something more applicable in your case?) What would you do? One thing could be to power off all you servers and software (to temporarily stop the security problem), and take a few days off, email auto responder. But is that going to cause less stress or more

dwaltrip 5y ago

> It certainly can feel like that, but it is not true. You are able to do it. Maybe the phrase "able to do it" is muddling things here... People can exit a situation because it is no longer serving them well. Maybe the realized they now care less about that goal relative to other things, compared to before. Maybe their needs aren't being met. Life is dynamic and complex. In general, there is nothing wrong with deciding to not do something anymore Obviously, specific situations will have many specific factors. People might be disappointed. There may be significant impacts. Perhaps you made a serious commitment. These factors can all be considered. And still, sometimes the right decision is to move on and do something different.

javajosh 5y ago
I think you've muddled things with a poor quote. I wasn't speaking in general, I was speaking of particular behaviors that reduce stress. The point of my comment was to encourage those who feel that they can't pause to gather themselves. I wasn't talking about quitting or changing careers.