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>>> I would like to see what it's like, but always abandon the effort due to concern for potential partners' feelings. Not OP, but as someone who has maintaine
by CapricornNoble 5y ago
>>> I would like to see what it's like, but always abandon the effort due to concern for potential partners' feelings.
Not OP, but as someone who has maintained harems....you sound too empathetic to manage it without heartache. It's helpful if you are comfortable gaslighting them, honestly. If a side-chick is heartbroken because things didn't turn into a "serious relationship" that's HER fault for failing to do her due diligence in assessing you as a mate. That's HER fault for constructing a fairy-tale future in her head. Delivering non-committal answers to questions without turning them off can be a difficult-to-learn skill, but eventually you'll get it. Or better yet, don't answer questions at all, once you recognize which questions might disrupt the holding pattern you're keeping them in.
Amanda: "Let's hang out on Tuesday."
Chad: "I'm not available Tuesday." (don't say "...because I'm fucking Becky Tuesday.")
Amanda: "Why aren't you available?"
Chad: ".....let's get sushi Wednesday, at that place you mentioned."
If Amanda is smart, she'll probably deduce that you are seeing other women. If she sticks around, good. If not, her character wasn't suited for the role she's required to play in your life. Nothing of value is lost. If she sticks around but is NOT smart enough to realize she's not The Only One....well, then she's stupid. Life is hard when you're stupid. Let her down gently when the time comes, but don't feel bad about it.