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Yeah. I'm becoming more and more convinced that the modern adult's emotional maturity now stops developing in middle school. I guess I would blame social media?

Yeah. I'm becoming more and more convinced that the modern adult's emotional maturity now stops developing in middle school. I guess I would blame social media? I don't know. Or maybe we just don't teach kids how to deal with this anymore. That a grown adult would still be dwelling on shit from high school is something that I cannot fathom. I was a complete backwards nerd in high school, didn't know how to socialize, didn't know how to talk to girls, didn't play sports, loved math, science, and computers, all the stereotypical attributes. In many ways I still am that person. I got the stereotypical treatment back then, but it's ancient history. High school kids are idiots for the most part, why would you be letting their idiocy back then affect you as a grown, independent adult today. Have some self respect for pete's sake.

Sakos 4y ago
> Yeah. I'm becoming more and more convinced that the modern adult's emotional maturity now stops developing in middle school. I guess I would blame social media? I don't know. Or maybe we just don't teach kids how to deal with this anymore. As a millenial, I agree with this. It took me until I hit 30 before actually reaching something resembling healthy emotional maturity. It took a lot of really painful experiences for me and a lot of self-reflection for that to happen.
silverpepsi 4y ago
They focus on the "healing", it strikes me as so ridiculous. It is a choice to think about the ancient past and key words like healing are all implicitly based on chosing to bother thinking about something in the first place. A couple decades back when I told my parents I wasn't interested in their religion anymore and couldn't deal with the guilt of dishonestly letting them believe I was, they immediately blamed themselves thinking the root cause was all the crappy stuff they did when I was a kid. I was totally shocked, even as a teen I didn't take most any of it seriously. In my mind, it was never part of my "real life" because I was just so many months away from leaving their home forever. Likewise with the nonsense events in 4 years of highschool. People really need to be told they have a choice to think about something or not, I guess.
munificent 4y ago
> I'm becoming more and more convinced that the modern adult's emotional maturity now stops developing in middle school. This is probably 99% survivorship bias. You don't end up reading about the feelings emotionally mature people on the Internet because they it's not very interesting to read about their feeling or experiences. Here's trick I try to use whenever I find myself believing some generalization about people: Ask myself "How many people do I know in person that fit this generalization?" Now, certainly, my in-person circle is a biased sample in many ways. But the set of poeple you end up reading about on the Internet is also highly biased and in particularly skewed ways. If I find that a generalization doesn't fit most of the people I know, I discard it as mostly a consequence of the natural bias that humans prefer negative news about bad people. Almost everyone is fine. > High school kids are idiots for the most part, why would you be letting their idiocy back then affect you as a grown, independent adult today. Have some self respect for pete's sake. Many people enter high school not just with the random abuse and misbehavior of their fellow kids but also other trauma from earlier in their life. If they were, say, abandoned by their parents, sexually abused by a neighbor, or suffered some other violent act, it may not be so easy to "have some self-respect for pete's sake." Or, put less charitably, what it is about you that prevents you from feeling compassion towards people that are struggling emotionally and instead instead leads you to react in frustration? Who are you to judge? Maybe you aren't as fully healed as you'd like to believe either.

Sakos 4y ago

> Yeah. I'm becoming more and more convinced that the modern adult's emotional maturity now stops developing in middle school. I guess I would blame social media? I don't know. Or maybe we just don't teach kids how to deal with this anymore. As a millenial, I agree with this. It took me until I hit 30 before actually reaching something resembling healthy emotional maturity. It took a lot of really painful experiences for me and a lot of self-reflection for that to happen.

silverpepsi 4y ago

They focus on the "healing", it strikes me as so ridiculous. It is a choice to think about the ancient past and key words like healing are all implicitly based on chosing to bother thinking about something in the first place. A couple decades back when I told my parents I wasn't interested in their religion anymore and couldn't deal with the guilt of dishonestly letting them believe I was, they immediately blamed themselves thinking the root cause was all the crappy stuff they did when I was a kid. I was totally shocked, even as a teen I didn't take most any of it seriously. In my mind, it was never part of my "real life" because I was just so many months away from leaving their home forever. Likewise with the nonsense events in 4 years of highschool. People really need to be told they have a choice to think about something or not, I guess.

munificent 4y ago

> I'm becoming more and more convinced that the modern adult's emotional maturity now stops developing in middle school. This is probably 99% survivorship bias. You don't end up reading about the feelings emotionally mature people on the Internet because they it's not very interesting to read about their feeling or experiences. Here's trick I try to use whenever I find myself believing some generalization about people: Ask myself "How many people do I know in person that fit this generalization?" Now, certainly, my in-person circle is a biased sample in many ways. But the set of poeple you end up reading about on the Internet is also highly biased and in particularly skewed ways. If I find that a generalization doesn't fit most of the people I know, I discard it as mostly a consequence of the natural bias that humans prefer negative news about bad people. Almost everyone is fine. > High school kids are idiots for the most part, why would you be letting their idiocy back then affect you as a grown, independent adult today. Have some self respect for pete's sake. Many people enter high school not just with the random abuse and misbehavior of their fellow kids but also other trauma from earlier in their life. If they were, say, abandoned by their parents, sexually abused by a neighbor, or suffered some other violent act, it may not be so easy to "have some self-respect for pete's sake." Or, put less charitably, what it is about you that prevents you from feeling compassion towards people that are struggling emotionally and instead instead leads you to react in frustration? Who are you to judge? Maybe you aren't as fully healed as you'd like to believe either.