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I've talked about this with friends before and many of them were amazed at the amount of freedom I was given as a child. From about age 6 or 7, I was allowed to

I've talked about this with friends before and many of them were amazed at the amount of freedom I was given as a child. From about age 6 or 7, I was allowed to roam with local children until the street lights came on and as long as we stayed in a group. If I was late I would not be allowed out the next day, or longer depending on how late. Most of the other neighbourhood parents didn't really pay much attention to what their kids got up to (it wasn't an affluent area) unless it was illegal or ridiculously dangerous (bamboo blackpowder cannons fits into that category). We would go into forests, creeks and occasionally get all the way to the beach (about 5 kilometers from our neighbourhood). Most afternoons would be spent building things or planning something. I even taught other children how to fix computers so we could play games. I'm only in my mid-twenties so this isn't one of those, "back in my day..." stories but I rarely hear of similar experiences from anyone under 30. Has anyone else had a similar upbringing or have you raised your children with actual free time /and/ personal accountability for their actions?

Tichy 15y ago
I think my childhood was similar. Although I recently went back to the place I used to live in, and the huge lawn behind the houses was not as big as I remembered it :-) There might have been parents watching from the windows without us realizing. But we also made bicycle trips to the lake on our own, certainly no parental watching. It was also normal to walk or cycle to school on our own. I really hope my children will be able to do the same.
wetbrain 15y ago
I had pretty much the same experience as a kid (I'm 22). As far back as I can remember we were pretty much outside until 'late'. I think the unofficial rule was to check in at streetlights on, and after dark be in only one yard. Most of my best childhood memories are of night games and doing really dumb things around the neighborhood. We didn't have gunpowder, but we did have sparklers and gasoline. Turns out you can make pretty impressive explosives with that (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1E2cNPOnjM&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1E2cNPOnjM&feature=relat...). It seemed most of the parents didn't pay attention to what we did, or at least condoned it. I know my one friends parent knew we got really into blowing stuff up, and just told us to "Be safe". In the last 5-10 years I've seen a complete shift even within the families that were initially lax. My little brother and his friends got chewed out a while ago for dumpster diving a small LCD and other stuff. The "be safe" mom now watches the neighborhood for suspicious activity. So, even though by all rights we should have had privileges restricted, that was never really an issue until highschool. All the younger kids I know are on a pretty tight leash, and they don't get into nearly the same level of mischief as we did. My old neighborhood friends are probably some of the best people I know. We're all really close, and that's partly from all the stuff we did and still do. Taking risks with the support of a group softens failures, makes successes that more awesome, and pulls the group together. I can say without a doubt that being able to explore and take those risks is why I understand my limits yet am always trying to push them. I almost completely agree with the article (except maybe the depression/anxiety) that free play is important, and in my opinion more valuable than early academic education. /rant
danmaz74 15y ago
In my day - I'm 37 - I remember being VERY free in my play time. We didn't do bamboo blackpowder cannons, but we did tin foil blackpowder rockets, and no adult complained - because they didn't need to know. But I was raised up in smallish, very safe cities. Now I live in a big city (Rome), I have a little daughter and I would be worried to let her go around as freely when the time will come. One of the reasons I'm using almost all my free time to work on my bootstrapped startup ideas is to be able to move to a little city and still be able to do what I like while earning enough money, so that I could hopefully give my daughter that same freedom that I got - if my wife allows that!
- roel_v 15y ago
  But do you think that moving to a small village to give children the opportunity to play outside will outweigh the disadvantages of living in such a village? I grew up in a small village and I feel like I missed out on a lot because of it: - Only limited access to like-minded children (i.e., rather nerdy people who like to actually design and properly build tree houses rather than putting together some old sheets and then move into 'let's attack the tree hut' mode) - Access to intellectually stimulating activities - A proper library (maybe less important with the internet nowadays) - Role models who aren't factory workers or construction workers (nothing wrong with them, but being exposed to a variety of role models is the key - I didn't really get the concept of an office job until I was in my early teens). I have no desire to move back to such an environment, and even less desire to let my daughter grow up in it. Not saying that cities are perfect either, just that I don't think the advantages of villages outweigh the disadvantages.
  - danmaz74 15y ago
    I'm not talking about a small village, but a small city: The cities where I grew up were 100k and 30k residents respectively, and very quiet. It's true that it is more difficult to find like-minded friends and more intellectually stimulating activities there, but I think that that would only become a concern when you're over 13 or something, and there's a lot of time for that. Big libraries (which I missed back in the day) wouldn't be a problem today, and as for role models, that wouldn't be a problem in that kind of city I'm talking about. Of course, there is no perfect choice, but in my opinion a small city would be the best compromise. Then, only time will tell...
kahawe 15y ago
Well, I am 30 and I had some freedom in my childhood growing up in a (European) city but mostly under some sort of "supervision", if only playing in our garden instead of at the park with the other kids. I never had this group and social thing in my play time, nor any of those big-adventure-like undertakings you described and never done any "mischief", so you could say I did not enjoy such a huge/healthy amount of freedom and I didn't take it for myself. I have never been a group person all my life, I am mostly alone, especially since I moved to another country and city and it is hard for me to relate to other people or feel comfortable in a crowd or really enjoy going to a pub or going out. I am suffering from (at times severe) depression and anxiety.
regomodo 15y ago
mid 20s, uk. I, along with my younger bro & sis and friends, had to be back in by dark and rarely had to say where we were going. sometimes we'd go off on bike rides well out of the city or even take a small boat we found and row/motor it around the rivers(tamar/tavy) (no safety equipment, repaired it ourselves, hilariously overloaded). fires, explosions, trespass, "base"/bunker/dam building, tree-climbing, ragging my donated scrambler in wasteland, etc were all regular activities. Now I see my other bro and sis (~10yrs younger than I) and they always have homework or are on their laptops. my youngest brother used to go with us sometimes when he was ~4 so he knows what "play" is but none of his friends want or are allowed to join him.

Tichy 15y ago

I think my childhood was similar. Although I recently went back to the place I used to live in, and the huge lawn behind the houses was not as big as I remembered it :-) There might have been parents watching from the windows without us realizing. But we also made bicycle trips to the lake on our own, certainly no parental watching. It was also normal to walk or cycle to school on our own. I really hope my children will be able to do the same.

wetbrain 15y ago

I had pretty much the same experience as a kid (I'm 22). As far back as I can remember we were pretty much outside until 'late'. I think the unofficial rule was to check in at streetlights on, and after dark be in only one yard. Most of my best childhood memories are of night games and doing really dumb things around the neighborhood. We didn't have gunpowder, but we did have sparklers and gasoline. Turns out you can make pretty impressive explosives with that (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1E2cNPOnjM&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1E2cNPOnjM&feature=relat...). It seemed most of the parents didn't pay attention to what we did, or at least condoned it. I know my one friends parent knew we got really into blowing stuff up, and just told us to "Be safe". In the last 5-10 years I've seen a complete shift even within the families that were initially lax. My little brother and his friends got chewed out a while ago for dumpster diving a small LCD and other stuff. The "be safe" mom now watches the neighborhood for suspicious activity. So, even though by all rights we should have had privileges restricted, that was never really an issue until highschool. All the younger kids I know are on a pretty tight leash, and they don't get into nearly the same level of mischief as we did. My old neighborhood friends are probably some of the best people I know. We're all really close, and that's partly from all the stuff we did and still do. Taking risks with the support of a group softens failures, makes successes that more awesome, and pulls the group together. I can say without a doubt that being able to explore and take those risks is why I understand my limits yet am always trying to push them. I almost completely agree with the article (except maybe the depression/anxiety) that free play is important, and in my opinion more valuable than early academic education. /rant

danmaz74 15y ago

In my day - I'm 37 - I remember being VERY free in my play time. We didn't do bamboo blackpowder cannons, but we did tin foil blackpowder rockets, and no adult complained - because they didn't need to know. But I was raised up in smallish, very safe cities. Now I live in a big city (Rome), I have a little daughter and I would be worried to let her go around as freely when the time will come. One of the reasons I'm using almost all my free time to work on my bootstrapped startup ideas is to be able to move to a little city and still be able to do what I like while earning enough money, so that I could hopefully give my daughter that same freedom that I got - if my wife allows that!

roel_v 15y ago
But do you think that moving to a small village to give children the opportunity to play outside will outweigh the disadvantages of living in such a village? I grew up in a small village and I feel like I missed out on a lot because of it: - Only limited access to like-minded children (i.e., rather nerdy people who like to actually design and properly build tree houses rather than putting together some old sheets and then move into 'let's attack the tree hut' mode) - Access to intellectually stimulating activities - A proper library (maybe less important with the internet nowadays) - Role models who aren't factory workers or construction workers (nothing wrong with them, but being exposed to a variety of role models is the key - I didn't really get the concept of an office job until I was in my early teens). I have no desire to move back to such an environment, and even less desire to let my daughter grow up in it. Not saying that cities are perfect either, just that I don't think the advantages of villages outweigh the disadvantages.
- danmaz74 15y ago
  I'm not talking about a small village, but a small city: The cities where I grew up were 100k and 30k residents respectively, and very quiet. It's true that it is more difficult to find like-minded friends and more intellectually stimulating activities there, but I think that that would only become a concern when you're over 13 or something, and there's a lot of time for that. Big libraries (which I missed back in the day) wouldn't be a problem today, and as for role models, that wouldn't be a problem in that kind of city I'm talking about. Of course, there is no perfect choice, but in my opinion a small city would be the best compromise. Then, only time will tell...

kahawe 15y ago

Well, I am 30 and I had some freedom in my childhood growing up in a (European) city but mostly under some sort of "supervision", if only playing in our garden instead of at the park with the other kids. I never had this group and social thing in my play time, nor any of those big-adventure-like undertakings you described and never done any "mischief", so you could say I did not enjoy such a huge/healthy amount of freedom and I didn't take it for myself. I have never been a group person all my life, I am mostly alone, especially since I moved to another country and city and it is hard for me to relate to other people or feel comfortable in a crowd or really enjoy going to a pub or going out. I am suffering from (at times severe) depression and anxiety.

regomodo 15y ago

mid 20s, uk. I, along with my younger bro & sis and friends, had to be back in by dark and rarely had to say where we were going. sometimes we'd go off on bike rides well out of the city or even take a small boat we found and row/motor it around the rivers(tamar/tavy) (no safety equipment, repaired it ourselves, hilariously overloaded). fires, explosions, trespass, "base"/bunker/dam building, tree-climbing, ragging my donated scrambler in wasteland, etc were all regular activities. Now I see my other bro and sis (~10yrs younger than I) and they always have homework or are on their laptops. my youngest brother used to go with us sometimes when he was ~4 so he knows what "play" is but none of his friends want or are allowed to join him.