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Ha! This video is what I needed right now for a few reasons. Thanks. Yes, I am on the spectrum, and so is my brother, and so is my father. I wasn't diagnosed un

by psyc 4y ago

Ha! This video is what I needed right now for a few reasons. Thanks. Yes, I am on the spectrum, and so is my brother, and so is my father. I wasn't diagnosed until my late 30s, but 1) I had plenty of other things to blame, and 2) I more or less 'knew' since my teens, but autism was not widely discussed then, and I didn't identify with that label at all. Internally I simply identified as a space alien from another planet sent here to observe humans. It helped me explain to myself my need to study people very carefully to form a theory of their words and actions. I just studied people silently for years, never saying much. After high school I found some friends who appreciated me enough to bring me into situations where I could imitate them and slowly begin to practice masking. My father was not very involved because my mother didn't want him to be. To this day she is enraged that she was suckered into marrying a defective person because she felt sorry for him. She booted me out the house at 18. I was quasi-homeless for the next few years, sleeping in my car, at friends', sometimes at my grandparents'. Nothing permanent. I'm going to cut this story short because it doesn't really go anywhere. 2006-2012 were pretty good for me, and by conventional measures too. I've been entangled with the mental health system too many times to list. It's a fraught fucking thing. A real mind-fuck. We didn't have the word 'gaslighting' in those days. I've had very little interaction in life with people I relate to, other than my brother. That's why this video is ... relieving, or something like that.

stuntkite 4y ago
If you ever wanna talk, hit me up! Community is important! Kindness is infectious. Check my profile if you feel like you wanna reach out. I've been kind of working on an internet generative pen and paper style role playing chat gizmo (who isn't right?) but also... Yeah man, that family stuff is typical honestly and it sounds like your mother and father had a lot of hurt because they couldn't connect. We have the luxury of doing better because we can know different things because internet. No matter what, guard your grill with your fam but they did what they could and are flawed like the rest of us. Tigers won't change their stripes. Be who you gotta be and try to share some comfort and kindness where you can. Also give Whooligan a like and follow if you think of it. They don't have a lot of attention and I think they do solid effort and deserve more. I detect a very familiar kind of traumatic shock in this story here. I currently experience manic terror masked by what looks like jokey beats told rapidly on loop for what I suspect are similar reasons. Who failed you doesn't have to define you though. They will probably still fail you but, probably they don't want to and don't know how to be different and wish they could be. Not your problem to fix. Because you're human and talking to me right now I think I can say with very strong confidence that your chosen family needs you to slow down the tape enough to share your light. It makes me pretty happy that this video resonated with you. Find your people, be kind, know yourself. Guard your grill because the world is getting weirder. You're a goldmine and ghouls wanna deplete you. Surround yourself with folks that value your modes and can help you with the parts you don't get that well and you can trust to tell you the truth. Rinse, repeat. I'm sorry if that's preachy sounding, but everything feels like hell to me today. I very much feel for your struggle how you explained it friend.
- moralestapia 4y ago
  Just wanted to show my support to @psyc and you (@stuntkite). I come from a mildly dysfunctional family and while everything worked out fine in the end it made me quite sensitive to these issues and I am aware of the struggle. Big hug, guys!
  - psyc 4y ago
    I appreciate it!
  - stuntkite 4y ago
    Thank you. I very much appreciate that. Cheers!
- cycomanic 4y ago
  Thanks for sharing @stuntkite @psyc! Sometimes a read (like these posts) come as quite a reality check to someone who comes from family with no big issues and who had it generally quite protected in life. All the best to you and stay strong!
  - psyc 4y ago
    Well thank you for saying so, and yes I tell my story in part to prick the Just World / The System Works bubble that I perceive as predominating around these parts. Like, to me, I might casually mention I started working at age 8, and someone responds “Uh, that is child labor.” To which I reply, no shit it’s child labor. By 12 I was putting in 40 hour weeks during summer, under the table, for a respected professional pillar of the community. And someone will say, “This happened in America? Exploitation!” Well maybe, but to me it was a godsend, and the one and only reason I was able to buy my first computer and learn programming. Of course that isn’t how it would go in an ideal world, but how can anyone mistake this world for an ideal one? You answered that question. And my early life (on second thought, the rest of it too) wasn’t all-ghetto either. It was always very checkered. Every part had aspects of real privilege and real poverty. Maybe the only thing it didn’t have was any consistency :) On a different note, it just occurred to me that we talk a lot about impostor syndrome, but never about the kind I had. Usually it’s about one’s skills and ability. I never had that, but I had it really, really hard about my class, and that never went away, either.
woohooligan 4y ago
Thanks, psyc. I'm really glad I was able to ... connect? lol ... how do talk person? I was going to say comfort you, but I dunno... it felt weird to say. I'm glad you can relate and got something out of it. How's that? Am I doing this right? Relationship with your mom sounds awful... I'm strained with both of my parents for different reasons. Let me know if I can help with anything. I'm datafaucet on twitter http://twitter.com/datafaucet http://twitter.com/datafaucet
- psyc 4y ago
  Hey, it’s you! I watched all 2.5 hours of your vid last night and it was fantastic for too many reasons. Let’s just say I’m going through some things, and I am underinformed about some other things. So thank you and thanks stuntkite.
  - woohooligan 4y ago
    Yeah, welcome! I'm just glad you're getting something out of it. And I hope whatever you're going through gets better soon... hit me up if I can help.
- ludamad 4y ago
  Welcome to hacker news! I learned a lot from the video (watched it all, not something I expected when I saw the length :))
  - woohooligan 4y ago
    Aww, thanks, ludamad! :)

by psyc 4y ago

stuntkite 4y ago

If you ever wanna talk, hit me up! Community is important! Kindness is infectious. Check my profile if you feel like you wanna reach out. I've been kind of working on an internet generative pen and paper style role playing chat gizmo (who isn't right?) but also... Yeah man, that family stuff is typical honestly and it sounds like your mother and father had a lot of hurt because they couldn't connect. We have the luxury of doing better because we can know different things because internet. No matter what, guard your grill with your fam but they did what they could and are flawed like the rest of us. Tigers won't change their stripes. Be who you gotta be and try to share some comfort and kindness where you can. Also give Whooligan a like and follow if you think of it. They don't have a lot of attention and I think they do solid effort and deserve more. I detect a very familiar kind of traumatic shock in this story here. I currently experience manic terror masked by what looks like jokey beats told rapidly on loop for what I suspect are similar reasons. Who failed you doesn't have to define you though. They will probably still fail you but, probably they don't want to and don't know how to be different and wish they could be. Not your problem to fix. Because you're human and talking to me right now I think I can say with very strong confidence that your chosen family needs you to slow down the tape enough to share your light. It makes me pretty happy that this video resonated with you. Find your people, be kind, know yourself. Guard your grill because the world is getting weirder. You're a goldmine and ghouls wanna deplete you. Surround yourself with folks that value your modes and can help you with the parts you don't get that well and you can trust to tell you the truth. Rinse, repeat. I'm sorry if that's preachy sounding, but everything feels like hell to me today. I very much feel for your struggle how you explained it friend.

moralestapia 4y ago
Just wanted to show my support to @psyc and you (@stuntkite). I come from a mildly dysfunctional family and while everything worked out fine in the end it made me quite sensitive to these issues and I am aware of the struggle. Big hug, guys!
- psyc 4y ago
  I appreciate it!
- stuntkite 4y ago
  Thank you. I very much appreciate that. Cheers!
cycomanic 4y ago
Thanks for sharing @stuntkite @psyc! Sometimes a read (like these posts) come as quite a reality check to someone who comes from family with no big issues and who had it generally quite protected in life. All the best to you and stay strong!
- psyc 4y ago
  Well thank you for saying so, and yes I tell my story in part to prick the Just World / The System Works bubble that I perceive as predominating around these parts. Like, to me, I might casually mention I started working at age 8, and someone responds “Uh, that is child labor.” To which I reply, no shit it’s child labor. By 12 I was putting in 40 hour weeks during summer, under the table, for a respected professional pillar of the community. And someone will say, “This happened in America? Exploitation!” Well maybe, but to me it was a godsend, and the one and only reason I was able to buy my first computer and learn programming. Of course that isn’t how it would go in an ideal world, but how can anyone mistake this world for an ideal one? You answered that question. And my early life (on second thought, the rest of it too) wasn’t all-ghetto either. It was always very checkered. Every part had aspects of real privilege and real poverty. Maybe the only thing it didn’t have was any consistency :) On a different note, it just occurred to me that we talk a lot about impostor syndrome, but never about the kind I had. Usually it’s about one’s skills and ability. I never had that, but I had it really, really hard about my class, and that never went away, either.

woohooligan 4y ago

Thanks, psyc. I'm really glad I was able to ... connect? lol ... how do talk person? I was going to say comfort you, but I dunno... it felt weird to say. I'm glad you can relate and got something out of it. How's that? Am I doing this right? Relationship with your mom sounds awful... I'm strained with both of my parents for different reasons. Let me know if I can help with anything. I'm datafaucet on twitter http://twitter.com/datafaucet http://twitter.com/datafaucet

psyc 4y ago
Hey, it’s you! I watched all 2.5 hours of your vid last night and it was fantastic for too many reasons. Let’s just say I’m going through some things, and I am underinformed about some other things. So thank you and thanks stuntkite.
- woohooligan 4y ago
  Yeah, welcome! I'm just glad you're getting something out of it. And I hope whatever you're going through gets better soon... hit me up if I can help.
ludamad 4y ago
Welcome to hacker news! I learned a lot from the video (watched it all, not something I expected when I saw the length :))
- woohooligan 4y ago
  Aww, thanks, ludamad! :)