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Ask HN: How do I stop being passive-aggressive?

• throwaway49 4y ago
  Do you talk to your dad & parents often? I'd advise you speak to them more often.
  • SMAAART 4y ago
    I'm old, my parents have Both passed away. And yes, they were both passive-aggressive (I see that now). I am not blaming them, and I am not relieving myself from my own responsibilities, I am just noticing. Time for me now to fix things, and lead a better life for myself, and the people around me, from my friends to my co-workers to everyone else.
• formerkrogemp 4y ago
  Check this out, friend. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30412165 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30412165 Best of luck.
  • SMAAART 4y ago
    Thank you for the link, and thank you for calling me "friend". I know we're not friends, but it was well received in this end.
    • formerkrogemp 4y ago
      Anyone could turn out to be a friend, but everyone isn't a friend. I don't presume to be familiar. Best of luck.
• mardiyah 4y ago
  No info whether the 2 main factors: From inside and/or outside influence How is the two's proportion hunch or guess is that long-term child time has significant role and affected and influenced that
• ggm 4y ago
  Seek professional help, focus on CBT rather than longterm SSRI treatment. I wouldn't have a clue if the neuroplasticity drugs are appropriate, but it's possible short-term treatment combined with CBT would help shift your patterns. Mainly, treat your brain like any other sick or damaged organ and get professional advice. This is no place for amateur hour. I will say that your own intuition of what is wrong, is very probably right.
  • SMAAART 4y ago
    Hey there. Thanks for the comment. I was in talk therapy for a while up to a few years ago for Depression. Then I was declared depression-free and I also moved. Too bad because I had a great therapist. I have never done SSRI and I don't intend to. I do treat my mind like an engine, meaning that it needs preventive maintenance, and - in this case - a bit of fixing too. And I will seek professional advice. Question for you, can you explain what you mean by: > I will say that your own intuition of what is wrong, is very probably right. I am not sure I grasp the concept/meaning. Thank you for taking the time.
    • ggm 4y ago
      I meant that your own instinct about the toxicity of your behaviour was a good insight, you should keep hold of. It's the part of what it is to be you, that you would value seeking to shed other aspects of yourself.
      • SMAAART 4y ago
        Thank you for the clarification.
• aurizon 4y ago
  A pattern of assertion of parental control results in children denying being controlled in such a way that avoids punishment by interposing an excuse that mitigates the punishment by ranking the current control below a former command. Do your homework - goes to room, ostensibly starts doing it Come here - come here, or supper = doing my homework(a prior command) stops the kid from doing the subsequent command. You and parent(s) have evolved this pattern. Parents often leave it at home and are OK at work. Kids enter working life and keep it up = bad boss, bad employee, bad co-worker. You can get therapy ($$$) or become an auto-didact on this topic = read from google self help courses, or find the books you need and read in a library. Books of this type often in a reference library = no loans = go there, look up the book in the stack and read it while you are there, making copies with phone or copier as warranted. https://afineparent.com/positive-parenting-faq/what-is-passive-aggressive-behavior.html https://afineparent.com/positive-parenting-faq/what-is-passi...
• codezero 4y ago
  Ask more questions in which you seek empathy. Failing that get professional help as mentioned by others.
• yuppie_scum 4y ago
  Just be outwardly aggressive.
• gridder 4y ago
  You need to become outright assertive.