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I am a fan of the philosophy "don't tell kids what they can't do, because they don't know any better, and will surprise you". Let kids discover their limits in

I am a fan of the philosophy "don't tell kids what they can't do, because they don't know any better, and will surprise you". Let kids discover their limits instead of purposefully (or accidentally) imposing your own.

cortesoft 5y ago
I’ll try to remember that the next time my 3 year old insists he can drive my car
- nullc 5y ago
  https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trnd/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trn...
- postingposts 5y ago
  Can I ask why you wrote this comment? It’s a dig at the other person and it’s not terribly funny, just sarcastic. I didn’t think he meant to allow kids to do anything they want, just not to tell them what’s impossible before they have a shot at it. Do children normally drive cars where you are from?
  - cortesoft 5y ago
    Sure, I don’t mind you asking. I wrote it for a few reasons. One, to be funny… clearly the commenter was not thinking about something like driving when they made the comment, so I thought it was kinda funny to shift the perspective to think about something where it is clearly a bad idea to just let a kid try something they think they can do. Secondly, it was a bit from exasperation from comments I see about the ‘right’ ways to raise kids without thinking about/understanding the limitations that actual parents are under when trying to raise kids. I have two young kids (6 and 3), and in my experience, parenting is so much more about circumstances than parenting advice ever seems to acknowledge. For example, let’s take this advice. Whether I can just let my kids try something that I think they aren’t yet capable of doing is entirely dependent on the circumstances. Is it safe to let them try? Can I afford to spend the money it takes to let them try the thing? Do I have the time to clean up the mess that will happen if they fail? Is it legal to let them try? Will it prevent them from being able to do another thing that I think they are more likely to be able to do? Basically, my response to advice like this is usually an exasperated, “yeah, no shit I’d love to do that if I can, but so many things stop me from always doing it.” Maybe that is harsh, but it is the gut reaction to this sort of advice as a parent of young children. And I know I was guilty of this before I had kids. I had so many ideas about how I would raise my kids and do all of these things, but I learned quickly that you don’t have as much control as you would like to imagine as a parent. Before you have kids, you imagine you drive their growth like you drive a sports car, with precision and the ability to choose the exact path you take. In reality, it is more like sailing a giant sailboat in a storm, doing your best to keep the ship pointed in the generally correct direction without taking on too much water.
    - gregoryl 5y ago
      You've constructed a strawman. It clearly wasn't "let them try anything, with complete disregard for the cost, consequences etc". Try to read it with the best possible interpretation and reply to that.
      - zenithd 5y ago
    - postingposts 5y ago
      I appreciate your response! I wish you had written this comment instead of the other one or at least explained why. I think the internet at large encourages people to be snooty/witty/sarcastic in order to be the “winner” of the conversation. HN is a little smaller, smarter, and nicer. I hope that as a community we can stay that way despite being on the internet. I also totally get where you’re coming from. There are so many people who have great ideas on how to tell you what to do and no willingness to discuss how it works in practice. That said, we are the ones who have to reach inside ourselves and instead of responding with something that wins you more internet points, it can be more beneficial instead to attempt being fair, insightful, and kind. That can be itself a simple benefit to reality. And then maybe one day we won’t have advice given without context or insult with the same. Be well.
      - cortesoft 5y ago
        I mean, I wrote the first comment while I was waiting for my daughter to finish pooping, so I only had a few minutes. I thought my joke/comment conveyed enough info to get some of my point across. I didn’t have time at the moment to write out the longer one. I am not sure why you think the comment was so antagonistic towards the person I responded to; it was a light hearted joke pointing out a flaw in their suggestion, it wasn’t a personal attack or anything.
        dag11 5y ago
        Your driving comment made me giggle and then I continued scrolling on. I think it was lighthearted and fine as it was, just my input.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - helloworld11 5y ago
    It was just a harmless bit of joking sarcasm. Some people on this site have the humor tolerance of a soviet accounting clerk.
  - PUSH_AX 5y ago
    I think it’s worth considering not everyone will feel the same way as you. I found it amusing. Equally your comment seems like a tear down attempt.
- jacobolus 5y ago
  A 3-year-old could start learning to drive a car if the controls were adapted to their physical size. Driving a car is designed to be easy enough for anyone to do it, and kids routinely learn more difficult skills. The main reason we don’t have kids driving cars is because of poor decision making and impulse control, not poor reflexes or untrainable motor skills. If you want to teach a kid to drive a car you should probably stick to video games or low-speed go karts though.
  - cortesoft 5y ago
    Yah, I know… my kids have a little electric car they drive around. They run into things all the time, they stop paying attention and run off the road, etc….
    - saagarjha 5y ago
      I’ve seen three year olds do pretty well at Mario Kart, sometimes even reaching first place where you’re not just wildly colliding with things. Perhaps real driving just isn’t interesting to them ;)
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- labster 5y ago
  You’re just going to have to tell your toddler you can’t afford the insurance and crush his dreams.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]

cortesoft 5y ago

I’ll try to remember that the next time my 3 year old insists he can drive my car

nullc 5y ago
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trnd/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trn...
postingposts 5y ago
Can I ask why you wrote this comment? It’s a dig at the other person and it’s not terribly funny, just sarcastic. I didn’t think he meant to allow kids to do anything they want, just not to tell them what’s impossible before they have a shot at it. Do children normally drive cars where you are from?
- cortesoft 5y ago
  Sure, I don’t mind you asking. I wrote it for a few reasons. One, to be funny… clearly the commenter was not thinking about something like driving when they made the comment, so I thought it was kinda funny to shift the perspective to think about something where it is clearly a bad idea to just let a kid try something they think they can do. Secondly, it was a bit from exasperation from comments I see about the ‘right’ ways to raise kids without thinking about/understanding the limitations that actual parents are under when trying to raise kids. I have two young kids (6 and 3), and in my experience, parenting is so much more about circumstances than parenting advice ever seems to acknowledge. For example, let’s take this advice. Whether I can just let my kids try something that I think they aren’t yet capable of doing is entirely dependent on the circumstances. Is it safe to let them try? Can I afford to spend the money it takes to let them try the thing? Do I have the time to clean up the mess that will happen if they fail? Is it legal to let them try? Will it prevent them from being able to do another thing that I think they are more likely to be able to do? Basically, my response to advice like this is usually an exasperated, “yeah, no shit I’d love to do that if I can, but so many things stop me from always doing it.” Maybe that is harsh, but it is the gut reaction to this sort of advice as a parent of young children. And I know I was guilty of this before I had kids. I had so many ideas about how I would raise my kids and do all of these things, but I learned quickly that you don’t have as much control as you would like to imagine as a parent. Before you have kids, you imagine you drive their growth like you drive a sports car, with precision and the ability to choose the exact path you take. In reality, it is more like sailing a giant sailboat in a storm, doing your best to keep the ship pointed in the generally correct direction without taking on too much water.
  - gregoryl 5y ago
    You've constructed a strawman. It clearly wasn't "let them try anything, with complete disregard for the cost, consequences etc". Try to read it with the best possible interpretation and reply to that.
    - zenithd 5y ago
  - postingposts 5y ago
    I appreciate your response! I wish you had written this comment instead of the other one or at least explained why. I think the internet at large encourages people to be snooty/witty/sarcastic in order to be the “winner” of the conversation. HN is a little smaller, smarter, and nicer. I hope that as a community we can stay that way despite being on the internet. I also totally get where you’re coming from. There are so many people who have great ideas on how to tell you what to do and no willingness to discuss how it works in practice. That said, we are the ones who have to reach inside ourselves and instead of responding with something that wins you more internet points, it can be more beneficial instead to attempt being fair, insightful, and kind. That can be itself a simple benefit to reality. And then maybe one day we won’t have advice given without context or insult with the same. Be well.
    - cortesoft 5y ago
      I mean, I wrote the first comment while I was waiting for my daughter to finish pooping, so I only had a few minutes. I thought my joke/comment conveyed enough info to get some of my point across. I didn’t have time at the moment to write out the longer one. I am not sure why you think the comment was so antagonistic towards the person I responded to; it was a light hearted joke pointing out a flaw in their suggestion, it wasn’t a personal attack or anything.
      - dag11 5y ago
        Your driving comment made me giggle and then I continued scrolling on. I think it was lighthearted and fine as it was, just my input.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- helloworld11 5y ago
  It was just a harmless bit of joking sarcasm. Some people on this site have the humor tolerance of a soviet accounting clerk.
- PUSH_AX 5y ago
  I think it’s worth considering not everyone will feel the same way as you. I found it amusing. Equally your comment seems like a tear down attempt.
jacobolus 5y ago
A 3-year-old could start learning to drive a car if the controls were adapted to their physical size. Driving a car is designed to be easy enough for anyone to do it, and kids routinely learn more difficult skills. The main reason we don’t have kids driving cars is because of poor decision making and impulse control, not poor reflexes or untrainable motor skills. If you want to teach a kid to drive a car you should probably stick to video games or low-speed go karts though.
- cortesoft 5y ago
  Yah, I know… my kids have a little electric car they drive around. They run into things all the time, they stop paying attention and run off the road, etc….
  - saagarjha 5y ago
    I’ve seen three year olds do pretty well at Mario Kart, sometimes even reaching first place where you’re not just wildly colliding with things. Perhaps real driving just isn’t interesting to them ;)
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
labster 5y ago
You’re just going to have to tell your toddler you can’t afford the insurance and crush his dreams.

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]