So sorry to say this dude, you are having a midlife crisis. I am guessing you have achieved everything you want in life and are now, as you said it: lost. So

So sorry to say this dude, you are having a midlife crisis. I am guessing you have achieved everything you want in life and are now, as you said it: lost. So yeah, when god closes a door, he opens a window. Look at this as an opportunity to figure out what you want out of the rest of your life. Depression is a means for your brain to protect itself and find the root cause of your problems. The ruminative thoughts can let you analyse issues at depth if you let it. Be strong and remember life is an amazing thing, there is always the possibility to change :)