4 ms·

You have to re-evaluate how you measure your self-worth. When all you have done in your life is climbing some imaginary „ladders“ to „success“, then suddenly yo

You have to re-evaluate how you measure your self-worth. When all you have done in your life is climbing some imaginary „ladders“ to „success“, then suddenly you will feel empty, if you have no other ladder to climb on. And why do you think you have hit your zenith? Because you will not be able to redo the success that you have had and climb another ladder? But who have said that you should? Beware, NO wonder pill or wonder drug will suddenly make your life easier, because (I suppose!) the issue lies with the purpose of life, not with some other biological reason. What is the purpose then? Well, there were a lot of smart people trying to think about this topic, you can start by studying them.

gxs 5y ago
OP is in therapy, where you learn various techniques to manage whatever specific issues you're encountering. What the meds do is make it easier to employ those techniques. So while there is no wonder pill that will solve your issues, in certain cases if used properly they will definitely help. I say this so that OP isn't discouraged from taking drugs because of comments of this variety that say true happiness comes from within - while it does, there are certainly things (like therapy and medication) that can at least put you on the right path. Like everything else, there can be a lot of trial and error to find the right ones.
- artemonster 5y ago
  I see this as a pure existential crisis and for that you don't need medication (IMHO). A lot of personalities tie their self-worth to an external measure (like some sort of "success" or whatever) and that could work for almost your whole goddamn life, heck, people can become aggressively successful, feeding that trait, BUT until this external measure dissipates. In case of OP they have admitted that they won't be able to repeat this mode of success: maybe too old, too tired, whatever. Suddenly, this uncovers the original issue of tying your self-worth or finding your existential purpose in this process of having/doing X. If you are measuring some X, and, objectively X is good, but you measure shit and are unhappy, clearly, the problem lies within the measurement system :)
  - gxs 5y ago
    Fair enough, but by the same token OP mentioned that he is sure he is depressed. Depression can get in the way of finding joy in things, even things you once found joy in. This on top of other symptoms that can contribute to OPs feeling of dread so to speak, such as a lack of energy. In therapy, you learn techniques to learn to manage this, and meds can help with this. They can have a number of different effects, and some can definitely have a positive effect. Successfully managing symptoms can free up mind space to actually take action to alleviate the issue, such as your proposal to take inventory of what's actually important and carefully reanalyze and reassess how you're measuring success in life. I'll end this by making sure it's understood that I'm not saying you can find a magic potion that will cure all your woes. Rather, medication is one weapon in the arsenal that can sometimes work successfully. Anyway, this is all complicated and evaluated on a case by case basis, so I'm glad OP is actually in therapy.
    - artemonster 5y ago
      I completely agree with you on all points you've said, especially the last one.
nvarsj 5y ago
I think you hit the nail on the head. A good therapist will point this out as well. The OP's entire self identity is wrapped up in their career - which explains, also, their great success. It's a common ailment in high pressure, high money industries, and especially common in tech. And now, the inevitable existential crisis when that is over - what now? They spent 20-30 years doing nothing but focusing on their job, and tying their self-worth to external validation. I think what a therapist would say is to focus on yourself rather than extrinsic rewards. You need to learn to be happy with yourself and not rely on validation of others or society to do that for you. Finding a hobby that gives you a lot of personal satisfaction is one approach.

gxs 5y ago

OP is in therapy, where you learn various techniques to manage whatever specific issues you're encountering. What the meds do is make it easier to employ those techniques. So while there is no wonder pill that will solve your issues, in certain cases if used properly they will definitely help. I say this so that OP isn't discouraged from taking drugs because of comments of this variety that say true happiness comes from within - while it does, there are certainly things (like therapy and medication) that can at least put you on the right path. Like everything else, there can be a lot of trial and error to find the right ones.

artemonster 5y ago
I see this as a pure existential crisis and for that you don't need medication (IMHO). A lot of personalities tie their self-worth to an external measure (like some sort of "success" or whatever) and that could work for almost your whole goddamn life, heck, people can become aggressively successful, feeding that trait, BUT until this external measure dissipates. In case of OP they have admitted that they won't be able to repeat this mode of success: maybe too old, too tired, whatever. Suddenly, this uncovers the original issue of tying your self-worth or finding your existential purpose in this process of having/doing X. If you are measuring some X, and, objectively X is good, but you measure shit and are unhappy, clearly, the problem lies within the measurement system :)
- gxs 5y ago
  Fair enough, but by the same token OP mentioned that he is sure he is depressed. Depression can get in the way of finding joy in things, even things you once found joy in. This on top of other symptoms that can contribute to OPs feeling of dread so to speak, such as a lack of energy. In therapy, you learn techniques to learn to manage this, and meds can help with this. They can have a number of different effects, and some can definitely have a positive effect. Successfully managing symptoms can free up mind space to actually take action to alleviate the issue, such as your proposal to take inventory of what's actually important and carefully reanalyze and reassess how you're measuring success in life. I'll end this by making sure it's understood that I'm not saying you can find a magic potion that will cure all your woes. Rather, medication is one weapon in the arsenal that can sometimes work successfully. Anyway, this is all complicated and evaluated on a case by case basis, so I'm glad OP is actually in therapy.
  - artemonster 5y ago
    I completely agree with you on all points you've said, especially the last one.

nvarsj 5y ago

I think you hit the nail on the head. A good therapist will point this out as well. The OP's entire self identity is wrapped up in their career - which explains, also, their great success. It's a common ailment in high pressure, high money industries, and especially common in tech. And now, the inevitable existential crisis when that is over - what now? They spent 20-30 years doing nothing but focusing on their job, and tying their self-worth to external validation. I think what a therapist would say is to focus on yourself rather than extrinsic rewards. You need to learn to be happy with yourself and not rely on validation of others or society to do that for you. Finding a hobby that gives you a lot of personal satisfaction is one approach.