You seem to be surrounded by people having a very bad influence on your state of mind (insulting father, friends mocking you). Think about it for a minute, how

You seem to be surrounded by people having a very bad influence on your state of mind (insulting father, friends mocking you). Think about it for a minute, how would you feel if the people around you where understanding and kind? You'd think you made a choice that didn't work out, and that you need to get on your feet and move on. But instead you get all this bad stress from the outside! Try to tell them it's serious, that all this means a lot to you and you need their support. That you can't take what basically amounts to constant emotional harassment. It might help them realize they're doing more harm than good. But you can't decide for them, they might just keep at it. So the second step is spending more time with the people who care about you and won't make you feel like crap. What you hear all day everyday has a lot of influence on your outlook on life, hang around with positive-minded people, and tell the others you don't need their hate / insults. And be sure that hosting you doesn't give your parents a right to judge you.