Exactly. You continue to change until finally you reach a breaking point and the relationship is destroyed. Alternatively, you change on some things, push back

Exactly. You continue to change until finally you reach a breaking point and the relationship is destroyed. Alternatively, you change on some things, push back on others, and try to reach compromises when you can. If your partner refuses to accept anything other than "victory" in every conflict, hopefully at least you learn this before you've sunk 20 years into the marriage.