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> The author's wife was trying to communicate to him: "when you do X, I feel like Y, and it hurts me." Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution
by antiterra 5y ago
> The author's wife was trying to communicate to him: "when you do X, I feel like Y, and it hurts me."
Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution to a problem, when someone was just trying to let me know how they feel.
I think there’s some sort of an analogy around a leaky canoe.
Like: Is the person hoping for a friendly wave, some hints on stopping the leak or for you to get into the canoe and help bail the water out?
- agota 5y ago>Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution to a problem, when someone was just trying to let me know how they feel John Gray addressed this in "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" - I believe he argued that this is the #1 mistake men make in relationships. IIRC, he also argued that the #1 mistake women make in relationships was trying to help men by giving unsolicited advice.
- js2 5y ago> Too often for me, I have tried to figure out a solution to a problem, when someone was just trying to let me know how they feel. That's likely not uncommon among the readers here, and something I do as well. But I think just realizing that I do it has helped me to stop doing it so much.