I think a lot of fights (at least based on my experience) are really issues in how the spouses are dealing with other things that bleed into a minor dispute, an

I think a lot of fights (at least based on my experience) are really issues in how the spouses are dealing with other things that bleed into a minor dispute, and also how the other spouse deals with that potential escalation. For me and my wife, most our fights are when we are tired or stressed. When we are relaxed we can more or less shrug off the little annoyances, maybe saying a reminder that gets some response, but neither of us care enough about the matter to pursue it further. That's not to say we don't have real disagreements, but generally we're able to talk real disagreements out to the point where we more or less respect each other's point of view. I think if we were better at dealing with stress, we wouldn't have any real fights. But if wishes were fishes, we'd all have a feast